What if there was an easy way to practice meditation in a way that helps you focus, relax, and increase your aptitude for empathy and compassion?
What if there was an easy way to practice meditation in a way that helps you focus, relax, and increase your aptitude for empathy and compassion?
With just 4 sentences recited to yourself or out loud, you can begin a daily practice of METTA Meditation, a form of mindfulness meditation; proven to help reduce anxiety and depression and increase self compassion and enhance social connection.
If you are new to METTA, or any meditation practice, it’s important to remember to have patience with yourself as you begin a practice. Meditation of any form can feel difficult and overwhelming at first. It is through consistency of practice, that you begin to feel more at ease, more peace, and more openness within your heart.
METTA Meditation, also known as loving kindness meditation is a mindfulness practice that allows you to practice sending love to yourself, your friends and acquantencies, and even the difficult people in your life.
During a METTA Meditation practice, you recite the following statements to yourself and do your best to feel it in your heart as you do.
Various versions of METTA exist that all follow the same frame work of statements. It’s important to choose phrases that you connect with personally and worry less about the exact wording. The practice is meant to become very enjoyable, so choose the version that feels the best for you. (You can’t mess this up!)
When you sit for a seated moment to practice METTA, it is suggested to cycle through the phrases with the intention sent for the following people. (It may be helpful to visualize an image of the person you are sending loving kindness toward.)
As you find yourself in a moment of relaxation, begin your practice by going through the 4 statements above to yourself, someone you know, a neutral person in your life, and a difficult person in your life.
While you continue to practice METTA meditation, it is important to begin to connect with the feeling of the words in your heart as you recite them to yourself. Repeating phrases that are coupled with truly feeling the words in your heart is the true practice of loving kindness that allows you to open your heart and find sameness with every being on Earth.
Remember compassion and empathy are challenging to share with others if at first you don’t recognize these sentiments within yourself. That’s why the purpose of METTA Meditation is to cultivate a state of self compassion first, allowing you to find acceptance for you and eventually learn how to share that same level of compassion with all beings around you.
Meditation is a useful and proven tool to help you create more calm and love so you can find moments in peace within and share your ability to love with the world. It’s not always easy, and that’s exactly why it’s called a practice. Therefore, aim not for perfection, rather than the willingness to practice and the dedication to do so.
Meditation, Loving Kindness, and EMDR are just some of the many tools that the therapists at Inner Clarity utilize to help our clients reconnect with themselves and come to a state of acceptance in life. We are here to help you too so you can find peaceful moments as you ride the wave of this ever changing world. Book your first appointment now so you can create your inner clarity and find with giving and receiving kindness to all. SCHEDULE HERE
Read about how forgiveness sets you free and can help you heal but making it a practice to benefit your own self growth can be very difficult from Inner Clarity.
Forgiveness. The word alone can make people cringe at the thought and shutter with resistance. It’s been said that forgiveness is not about accepting the actions of another that you are enraged about, rather, forgiveness is a tool to set yourself free from the mental torture of playback and thoughts that repeat a story that offends your boundaries.
Forgiveness is truly about restoring your emotional state by suggesting more positively feeling thoughts in place of where negative ones used to be when the thought of the offense arises.
It is within using this tool that one learns how to find acceptance and break the cycle of replaying scenarios, harboring resentment, and easing the burdens that all humans carry along their path.
While conceptually, forgiveness seems easy, actually making it a practice to benefit your own self growth can feel really, really tough.
Forgiveness is about learning to create empathy or compassion for the offense that occurred. This does not mean acceptance or creating a space that voids the perpetration.
It may feel really difficult to bring yourself to find feelings of forgiveness for the scenarios where you were wronged. If you have been harboring a perpetration for some time, your hold on to how you’ve been offended may feel tough to edge in a bit of forgiveness.
Many people believe that not forgiving is a form of punishment that should be upheld. The belief is that if ‘I am angry then they are suffering.’ But the truth is that anger only harms the person it lives within. It’s also important to understand that forgiveness does not mean acceptance. It does not excuse behavior of mistreatment or any actions which have crossed your personal boundaries. In truth, forgiveness is an opportunity to reaffirm the boundaries that keep you safe and create more moments of tranquility in your head and your heart.
So what does practicing forgiveness actually look like?
Think of forgiveness as a muscle. The more you begin to utilize it, the more your ability to find peace with it expands. It’s best to begin slowly and consciously. As with your physical muscles, your ability to find moments of forgiveness, ultimately leading to more personal moments of freedom from negative thought, will grow with practice.
How to begin:
Take a deep breath. Resistance easily creeps in when forgiveness begins to emerge. Remember, forgiveness allows you to rewrite your inner monologue so that it includes more peaceful moments within.
Remember forgiveness begins when empathy and compassion can be formed.
In order to start your practice, try to view the scenario with that in mind. Are you able to find some empathy for what has occurred? Compassion and empathy, even the tiniest bit, can offer a small shift in perspective so that human connection can spark.
If creating space for compassion and empathy for the scenario are out of the question it may be helpful instead to turn that empathy inward. Perhaps assigning meaning to your suffering may help you cultivate more compassion for yourself. It may even be helpful to picture yourself standing in front of yourself and embracing the vision of you in an all accepting hug.
Call in support and surround yourself with forgiving people. Begin to recognize forgiveness in others and align yourself with those who can support an attitude of growth rather than energy of bitterness.
As you begin your practice of forgiveness you will notice that more moments to practice arise. Consider this an opportunity to make a small shift in your thought. The more you practice the ability to find forgiveness through empathy and compassion with little things, the more you will notice that your happiness will increase.
Forgiveness is not acceptance. It’s merely a chance to shift what’s in your own head and heart so you can free yourself of thoughts that incite unfavorable feelings within.
Creating states of empathy can help reconnect with compassion for yourself and others that will ultimately help to create more moments of perspective. Ultimately, forgiveness is a tool to free yourself of the burdens that are carried when there is an interference with your internal peace.
Ready to begin to share your story so you can create more peace in your life? Reaching out to a therapist is a great way to find more moments of joy for yourself. It’s a process, and we are here to help. Book your first appointment HERE.
Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self-esteem and self-worth...
Are you someone who struggles with self love, self esteem, or self worth?
By definition Self Worth means “ an individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration.” (APA Dictionary Definition)
Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self esteem and self worth, chances are you’d wish this level of self love for them too. Yet for too many, self worth has been muted and minimized for so long that at this stage in the game, it can feel nearly impossible to build it back up.
The truth is, all humans deserve to feel loved, worthy, and capable. So, if along the way, you adapted a belief that you are not; the following advice will help to bring awareness to your thoughts so that you can begin to make small shifts toward massive amounts of worthiness for your uniquely perfect, amazing self.
Happiness is the birth right of every human being.
Every single person deserves love. It is your right to feel good about yourself and create your own version of personal happiness. It’s not selfish to command a high sense of self-worth or to feel fulfilled and content in your life. If fact, feeling good about yourself is the most selfless act to take. It is within loving yourself and your own unique quirks that you are able to create more compassion and empathy for the imperfection in others around you.
Still struggling to appreciate your inner awesomeness? Here are some quick tips to begin to tune in and gently shift your dialogue to one that encourages more love, compassion, and forgiveness for your number one….YOU!
By beginning to tally when your inner critic says nice things about you versus when that inner voice attacks your desires, actions, and abilities you will begin to notice the programming within.
The Golden Opportunity – The more you begin to recognize your inner critic that emerges as judgment of yourself, the more you can learn to shift to a better thinking thought that may begin to allow you to build yourself up, rather than tear yourself down.
As you recognize a belief about yourself that makes you feel poorly, remember that you are a human being who is doing their best. Hold the belief tightly that you are doing your best. And within that, that you are deserving of feeling like enough and knowing that you are giving your absolute best. No matter what the circumstance, what you are able to give moment to moment is always enough.
In today’s comparison driven culture, it can be difficult (and often feel downright uncomfortable) to pat yourself on the back. But the truth is, you deserve daily accolades – so don’t be shy about taking them!
Find more ways to give yourself credit for being amazing!
Find comfort in allowing these things to be enough and pat yourself on the back for getting through the day.
After all,
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss
Also, you rock…remind yourself more often.
Surround yourself with people that allow you to feel good about yourself.
Find a community online, a trusted person in your family or circle of friends where you feel secure to feel good about yourself.
Remind yourself why you deserve reciprocated love and friendships.
Exercise, craft, write, or sing.
Be creative and allow your emotions place and space to move.
Your definition of feeling good is not open to anyone else’s opinion. The more you continuously make deliberate choices that help you to feel good about YOU, the more you will find that taking a stand in the pool of self worth is truly where you’d like to be.
Listen, human beings are not meant to be perfect. In fact, you can spend your entire life trying to find one (a perfect human) only to recognize that every single being is riddled with imperfection.
It is not the perfection that creates an amazing human, rather the imperfection held by all that create uniqueness, quirks, and the specialness that makes you, you.
Your uniqueness is what makes you incredible! Spending time to embrace it helps to elevate your personal sense of self.
By creating more awareness around your sense of self worth, you continue to shine light on what is working for you, and what needs to be redefined so that you progress toward more of owning your inner awesomeness.
Struggling with Self Worth but deep down know that life is meant to feel good?
At Inner Clarity our therapists work with you to help unpack your inner dialogue and create steps toward success so you can love yourself more, feel good inside, and know that in every moment, you are good enough.
Ready to learn how to find more personal love for you? We are here to help.
Did 2020 mess with your goals? Thank goodness another New Year is on it’s way! Many people are inspired by big goals and use this time of year to assess their desires.
Did 2020 mess with your goals? Thank goodness another New Year is on it’s way!
Many people are inspired by big goals and use this time of year to assess their desires. Yet the ability to take action and remain consistent as you work toward accomplishing goals can be daunting…especially in the face of adversary and uncertainty.
The only constant in life is change, a la 2020, so learning to become more resilient in order to create more personal accountability is necessary to achieve your personal successes while learning to live riding the waves of life.
As the reveal of the new year gives you moments to reflect on what you’d like to achieve over the next 12 months, the truth is, in order for you to find success with any goal, it needs to feel electrifying!
Excitement and Belief
Your level of excitement is a huge factor in your ability to achieve. Too much excitement can cause unnecessary pressure that has many jumping ship when the windy path toward success feels tough. Too little excitement and you’re likely to exchange your goal for that last piece of chocolate cake that’s been calling your name.
Excitement is in direct proportion to your level of belief and actualization.
In order to achieve, you first have to believe you are capable of it. Want to lose 50 pounds? Ready to reconnect relationships? Looking to start a business and take your career to the next level?
All of this is possible….as long as you believe it to be.
Your success on any goal correlates your belief that it can or can not happen. The more you see yourself on achievement alley, the more you will align your choices to help get you there.
Keep a Promise to Yourself
Why does it feel so hard to stay consistent to yourself but easier to stay accountable to others?
As a rule, let’s begin to understand that when you make a promise to yourself, or set a goal, it is because you believe it is for your own good. Yet, when the going gets tough, even convinced it’s for your best life, throwing in the towel happens more easily than you’d like.
This does not mean that you are not good enough to stick to what you say. This is not a matter of productivity vs laziness.
The truth is, you lack integrity to yourself. Yup, that’s right…when you say you are going to do something, and then don’t, it’s not because you can’t achieve physically…..it’s because you accept lying to yourself more than you should.
See, you’ve been conditioned to not bring disappointment to others. The social stigma of letting another down is ingrained in many people throughout their childhood and easily translates into adult living.
This is exactly why people show up, work harder, and stay more committed, when working with a personal trainer, business coach, or accountability partner.
You are also used to working toward someone else’s expectation of you. That’s why you work harder when accountability is around.
In the same breath, you are used to giving up on you, that’s exactly why you do that too.
So how can you up your personal integrity while keeping the promise of working toward a goal for yourself?
Start with making your goal non-negotiable.
Then, work daily through committing to small tasks and completing them.
Day in and day out, you will begin to find that there is nothing more gratifying than sticking to something you say you are going to do for you.
Achieve Mini Goals
Along your path of progress, it is important to set up mini goals and celebrations. Mini goals are daily or weekly accomplishments that bring you closer to your overall dream.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and mountains aren’t scaled by one giant leap. Step by step and brick by brick is the exact way to get you from where you are to where you know you are meant to be.
Don’t forget to celebrate your milestones along the way!
Bringing it all together
Achievement and Success are yours for the taking. Working to enhance your level of excitement and accomplishing manageable, daily tasks are all parts of keeping a promise to yourself.
As you continue to raise your personal integrity you will realize that success is imminent and worthy in your life. Everything that you dream of for your highest good is achievable. Keep going!
At Inner Clarity, our therapists are trained to help you recognize your patterns and learn to work in a way that brings you more personal fulfillment, achievement, and success. Together, we work so you feel guided toward uncovering how to live your best life and keep promises to yourself. Ready to make the next year your best year? Schedule an appointment HERE.
It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.
Dear Mothers,
It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.
Or don’t you?
Many Mothers believe that Holidays don’t happen, unless they work hard, create an enchanting setting, and practice perfectionism so that their children can create memories worth sharing. In order to make this happen, too many women sacrifice their mental well being, financial stability, and time management in order to go over and above the role of Mom/Santa/Gift Giver Extraordinaire.
The truth is, creating memories that last a lifetime doesn’t need to require you to feel burnt out, exhausted, and appreciated less than you’d like. Running yourself ragged this time of year can lead to melt downs, resentment, and complete and utter exhaustion.
You can still make incredible memories with your family by doing what you love, setting appropriate boundaries with your energy (mental, emotional, and financial), and taking moments to pause to truly appreciate the gifts of the year.
2020 is different. The desire to create fascinating experiences for your children to remember forever is still strong. However the ability to make that happen through external sources, pictures with Santa, memories around the menorah and kinara, and outside family traditions have changed. Yet that doesn’t mean you have to find new ways to take yourself down to zero in order to provide your children with love, special moments, and sacred family togetherness.
So how do you create magical moments without driving yourself to the brink of resentment for the 2020 Holiday season?
Here are quick and easy tips to create a holiday of connection, without losing your cool and learning to revel in the specialness of this time of year.
Mama, you are the magic that moves every season, and never is that more true than now. Remember, the extraordinary excitement of this time of year is more enjoyable when you practice the pause and enjoy what is already around you. The most important memories are made not when doing things, but by being present and learning to do more of the things that help you to feel calm, joyful, and surrounded by love.
Are you experiencing burn-out due to the stress of the Holidays in 2020? Learn to navigate your expectations, overwhelm, and anxiety so that you can feel aware, present, and enjoy the Holidays this year and every year. You are in control of your emotions. Learn how to work with them and feel satisfied in your life more often. Find out more about seeking professional support HERE.
The most magical adventures can be the most challenging to make tangible.
The most magical adventures can be the most challenging to make tangible. Such is the scientific studies on gratitude and its ability to bring its user increased happiness and decreased depression.
While most people have an instinctive understanding of what gratitude is, it can be very difficult to define. It’s that time of year where everyone seems to begin to focus more on what they are grateful for, and 2020 has shown us simply how necessary it is to find gratitude for one’s own physical health.
It has been said that regular shifts toward gratitude have the ability to heal, balance, and regulate negativity from a person’s life. Since life nowadays may feel without control and filled with concern, creating moments of thanks are essential to put it all in perspective.
Many studies over the past two decades have concluded that people who practice gratitude tend to be happier and less depressed. In fact, research supports the claim that gratitude is ‘the greatest virtue’ and furthermore ‘the mother of all other remaining virtues.’
Gratitude works to help improve all aspects of health.
(Access incredible research and learn more about the studies cited HERE)
As a practice, gratitude doesn’t require much. However, if you feel like you could use some inspiration to cultivate more gratitude in your life, here are some quick tips to make it a daily and regular feel-good routine:
When it comes to gratitude, the fun is in the freedom! Don’t overcomplicate it. While gratitude can be beautifully expressed through actions like writing in a journal, or through hymns and prayers, practicing gratitude is really as simple as sitting with one conscious grateful thought at a time.
Tapping in to your personal feelings of joy, contentment, and regularly finding reasons to rejoice in your life will turn the key towards happiness.
One mindful thought about what is going good in your life can be all you need to transform your mood, realign yourself with the positives, and help you to shift perspective toward all the greatness in your life.
Ready to learn how to tap into the power of your personal gratitude? Visit Inner Clarity today to book an appointment with a Therapist who will help you sift through the moments of your truth so you can lean into focusing on what feels good. Find out more about how we can help!
As 2020 begins to wind down, many are looking toward the Holiday season to bring in a much needed cheer in the world.
As 2020 begins to wind down, many are looking toward the Holiday season to bring in a much needed cheer in the world. But for all too many, approaching Holidays means dealing with loss again, or due to 2020, for the very first time.
Grief looks different this year. It may not only be due to loss of a human close to your heart, grief now abounds in the form of loneliness, separation, social anxiety, and mourning for an older sense of ‘normal.’
As with any occasion that makes you think of togetherness, this upcoming season can be a time of deep contemplation and revisiting the ever fluctuating stages of grief.
If you are experiencing grief this time of year, or any time of year, you are not alone. And while your grief may manifest differently throughout the impending season, know that your feelings are real, valid, and here to be felt.
When you, or your children, encounter moments when it feels too strong to bear, here are some helpful ways to allow yourself to feel while gently encouraging yourself to continue to make a connection with those you have lost and love the most:
Perhaps you are already busy and you are finding that more and more you are distracted by your grief; it keeps you on the couch or pins you to the bed despite all the work you have to get done.
If this is the case, take time to feel your feelings. Be honest with yourself and with those who depend on you.
When it feels right, you can visualize yourself placing overwhelming thoughts on a shelf momentarily. This may allow you the space to work toward your goals with work, home, and additional responsibilities, knowing that you can come back to your feelings and space on the shelf, when you are ready to be done.
Grief is not linear. There is no one road that leads to processing it faster, more quickly, or with ease. In fact, if you do, you may miss out on valuable healing that awaits.
Feelings are here for you to be felt. Sadness, as overwhelming as it feels at times, is a reminder that love once existed in it’s space.
If this year has shown you anything, it’s that you matter, your feelings matter, and health is the most valuable resource on the planet.
Are you experiencing grief this time of year? InnerClarity offers guidance in working with your grief so that you can find moments of joy as you learn to navigate the intensity of your emotions. You don’t have to go through it alone. Schedule a consultation today.
With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.
With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.
After years of couples finding a groove that works best for them, marriages have been flipped on their head as many now are learning to share more space, spend more time, and navigate the additional stress brought on by quarantines, virtual school, and the fear of falling behind on bills or ill.
Faced with an unprecedented amount of emotional and financial strain, more and more couples are considering divorce as an option to preserve their happiness and their sense of self.
The truth is, not all marriages are meant to last forever. And with the abundance of time many people have now, more and more are making the courageous choice to put their personal happiness above the institution of marriage.
However, if you’re looking to strengthen your relationship during this time, hope has not been lost!
While the increase in togetherness may be tough at moments, here are some ways to Quarantine Proof your Marriage so that you can remain in the committed relationship you enjoy:
The therapists at Inner Clarity are here for you and your partner. We work with you to uncover your needs, help you to feel peace in your relationships, and work to help you take steps toward your personal happiness. Experiencing troubles in your marriage? Book your appointment HERE
Important to note: While many marriages seal their bond and find togetherness during stressful times, many others can become tumultuous.
If you are experiencing domestic violence which includes physical, emotional, and mental/spiritual abuse please call the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline for immediate assistance: New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline
1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)
Read about dealing with toxic family members including things to remember like surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good from Inner Clarity.
Family – the relationships you don’t get to choose.
Dealing with family can be difficult. In fact, for some…it can become downright abusive.
For many people, dealing with family means dealing with control, emotional abuse, and constant criticism. Not all human beings are capable of exhibiting love in a way that makes another feel heard, respected, and cared for. When this happens, it’s important to know – it is NOT your fault.
Knowing how to approach these delicate relationships, sometimes with the very people who raised you, can be really challenging and painful. But gaining an understanding about how your life can be distanced from theirs in a way that feels most supportive for you is important.
The truth is, You deserve to be happy.
And if your family is a major cause of your depression, self deprecation, or why you always feel stuck, it may be worth examining effective ways to deal with toxic members of your clan.
The most important rule to your personal happiness is to do whatever it takes to surround yourself with people who help you feel good. This may not always be people bonded to you by blood, even if they have raised you.
Here are some important things to remember when dealing with toxic family members:
But if it’s right for you, you can become a Mother or Father and experience family in a completely new way. You can choose love, openness, and acceptance. And this new creation..the family you choose..can begin to help heal the holes left by the first.
You can choose friends who become family. These relationships too can be committed by love, respect, and a desire for closeness.
You can create the family you choose. And you can choose to be bonded by unconditional love.
Remember, when it comes to your family – no one knows what you have experienced but you.
So no one gets to decide what and how it is best to interact with your family, but you.
You have one life to live and that life deserves happiness, joy, and love.
Take action to free yourself from family that no longer helps you move toward the goal of happiness.
Relinquish judgement of yourself and others.
And know that you are never alone.
At Inner Clarity our therapists are trained to help individuals navigate the intricacies of sticky family dynamics. These relationships can be emotional and difficult to untangle on one’s own. If you are looking for a supportive Therapist who can help you undo the web of a no-longer working family dynamic, schedule your appointment today. Gain Clarity HERE.
What is the purpose of positive thinking? Well, for one, focussing on affirmative thoughts such as ‘everything is always working out for me,’ and ‘today is a great day,’ feel good inside.
What is the purpose of positive thinking?
Well, for one, focussing on affirmative thoughts such as ‘everything is always working out for me,’ and ‘today is a great day,’ feel good inside.
But what if thinking positive thoughts actually did change your life completely?
By now you may have heard of the book, The Secret. (if not, get it or watch the movie on Netflix) The Secret reveals the science behind positive thinking and how exactly it can help to shift your life and move you toward a reality filled with feeling great, embracing what’s next, and knowing that you are supported to live your best life now using the Law of Attraction.
So how does the Law of Attraction work?
Simply put, the Law of Attraction states that what you focus on is what you attract.
What you continuously give your attention and energy to is how your reality is created.
So, if you constantly focus on things that are going wrong, you will be met by more instances where things are going wrong.
Adversely, if you shift your attention to things that feel good, you will continue to be placed in moments to feel good.
The two main factors in understanding the Law of Attraction are belief and intention.
Belief:
In order for the Law of Attraction to work to your benefit, you have to believe completely in what you are focusing on. If you believe that ‘today is a great day,’ state it, believe it, and own it completely. Then, you will be presented with more and more reasons that validate your belief ‘today is a great day.’ Perhaps someone pays for your coffee at the drive through. Maybe you have no traffic on the work. Or maybe you simply smile and recognize all of your personal reasons to feel grateful today.
On the contrary:
Your thoughts are powerful!
If you attempt the belief: ‘today is a great day,’ and immediately follow that with the thought ‘except when I get to work, I’m really not looking forward to meeting with my boss.’ Then, the Law of Attraction is going to meet you exactly where your belief stands.
You may get to work, meet with your boss, be put into a bad mood, focus on feeling angry, and then continue to witness unfortunate circumstances come your way.
The Law of Attraction did not fail, you didn’t really believe that ‘today is going to be a good day.’
You may have thought it momentarily, but one positive affirmation will not negate the true belief inside of you. The belief in the ‘bad moment with your boss,’ was stronger than the belief for a great day. The Law of Attraction meets you always by your actual belief.
Intention:
All energy follows intention. This means that your thoughts go deeper than surface level.
And the Law of Attraction works only when the intention behind each of your thoughts are for the highest good for all.
For example:
Let’s say you really want a promotion at work so that you can get a raise, feel stable with your household bills, and get recognition from your job for doing great work.
If you work to focus on the promotion, and more so – how you will feel when you are called in to the office as you receive the promotion from your boss, what it feels like to pay all your bills on time, and the feeling of accomplishment – you will be using the Law of Attraction to your benefit and help to bring the promotion closer to your truth.
Now, let’s assume that deep down, you have thought about wanting this promotion so that Sally from HR will feel badly because she wasn’t promoted. Maybe deep down you’re excited that she’ll be upset and have to do extra work as she watches you climb higher in the corporate ladder.
If this is the case, then it’s important to recognize that your intention is not aligned with the highest good for all.
So, even if you focus on the promotion, the Law of Attraction will not work to bring it to you quickly because your desire is also aligned with someone else’s suffering.
How to Use it:
A simple way to begin using the Law of Attraction today is by adapting the belief that
‘Everything is always working out for me.’
> That means, even when reality is showing you otherwise (a job you didn’t get, a relationship lost) you feel grounded and secure that these things happened because they weren’t truly for your best benefit.
> Believing that everything is always working out for you will help to shift your mind toward an openness for great things coming your way!
> This quote gives you a great chance to become more aware of the true beliefs and intentions that come up for you when you say it. Understanding the hidden or limiting beliefs that come up around this statement are an essential stepping stone to understanding what has stepped in your way and how to clear it so that you can harness the Law of Attraction for your benefit.
> It will build resiliency in the face of adversity.
> Declaring daily that ‘everything is always working out for me’ aligns your emotions to the feelings of things working out for you.
> When you work to adapt and understand that everything is always working out for you, you welcome in the benefit of believing it is.
The Law of Attraction is an evidence based energetic principle that shares with you that focusing on feeling good will bring more opportunities to feel good your way.
Wondering if it’s worth it to begin to shift your thoughts and feelings to align with more good feelings coming your way? The therapists at InnerClarity, LLC in Hazlet, NJ work with energetic laws such as Law of Attraction so that our clients learn to focus on intention and become aware of the hidden thoughts that stand in their way. At InnerClarity, we believe that your life deserves to feel great. And we work together so that you can create a way of getting there that is in true alignment with what is best for you. Ready to speak to one of our professionals? BOOK YOUR CONSULTATION NOW
Back to School - It’s that time! Summer is quickly dwindling to an end and your parental decision about how to approach your child’s education needs to be decided on.
Back to School – It’s that time! Summer is quickly dwindling to an end and your parental decision about how to approach your child’s education needs to be decided on.
This year back to school looks different for every family. What once was a time filled with the excitement of back to school shopping, coordinating new backpacks and lunch boxes, and gearing back up for structure, is now filled with unanswered questions, risks and concerns, and you know it – masks.
Back to school looks different this year and it’s important to understand that the feelings around it are in sharp contrast to what you as a parent have experienced in the past. Perhaps this year you are experiencing uncertainty and anxiety where excitement used to live. It’s understandable and you are not alone. Parents nationwide are experiencing grief, apprehension and relentlessness when it comes to approaching choices around back to school.
Are you a parent who is gearing up to send your children off to school?
Are you venturing down the path of full time at home virtual learning?
Have you made unconventional choices to educate your children?
Here’s how to thrive during the anxiety and uncertainty during this year’s back to school season:
1. Name your emotions. While in years past it may have been easy to name your parental emotions such as excitement for all the new opportunities a school year brings, or sadness because your baby is getting so big, this school year’s emotions feel…well, different. As with our younger children, it’s important to name the emotions you may be experiencing. Emotions swirl within us as a form of energy desiring to be physically expressed. As Dan Seigel, author of The Whole Brained Child, famously declared: You’ve got to name it to tame it. Take ownership of your emotions (this does not mean to JUDGE them) so you can recognize precisely how you are feeling and how you are reacting accordingly. Naming your emotions can help to tame reactions and lessen the intensity they bring.
2. Take time to process how you are feeling. Once you have pinpointed the feelings that are existing within you, take time to process them. Make a list of all of your concerns surrounding back to school and your child’s safety. Then make another list for all the things you are grateful for this upcoming school year. Allow space and time for you to truly understand your emotional state by dissecting it and seeing it in real time. Your emotions deserve validation. List writing is a phenomenal way for you to maintain emotional resiliency by seeing what comes up as a true concern for you. Approach this exercise with an open mind. There is no right and wrong. There is no judgement. Use this time to acknowledge your concerns (all of them) and then highlight where you find the peace, the appreciation, and the gratitude for the new approach to education that you and your children are taking.
3. Love your babies. Whether they will be doing their school work at the kitchen table or coming off the bus or into your car after a shortened day of in person instruction, remember that your role as a parent is to love your children. In times of uncertainty and during these times of change, remember that the love you have for your children has never wavered. Yes, parenting is an ever changing relationship that encourages you to shift through transitions, make difficult decisions, and feel uncomfortable during times of growth. But reminding yourself why you’ve made the choices you have for your family is important. So when you are feeling overwhelmed, nervous, or anxious, gently shift your focus to your heart and how it feels when you witness your child experience something they love. At the beginning and end of each school day, love for your child will ease your heart, center your anxiety, and shed light on the biggest gift of all – parenthood. It’s never easy but LOVE always makes it worth it.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” – Corinthians
InnerClarity, LLC in Hazlet, New Jersey is working hard to help parents cope with understanding how to navigate the ‘new normal’ of 2020. Our latest group program, Coping with the New Normal is designed to help adults navigate the intensity of the emotions, anxiety, and grief that have been highlighted during this time. When everything you once knew about ‘normal’ has shifted, it’s time to find certainty and community so you can feel empowered to handle whatever comes next. Pre-register for our upcoming group “Parents coping with the ‘new normal’” by calling 732-639-0232, or click HERE.
To read more about Dan Siegel’s “The Whole Brain Child”, click here https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/the_whole_brain_child/
Tips on how to make your transition into a post-pandemic lifestyle smoother.
It’s been six months since the not-so-welcomed Covid-19 has undoubtedly brought a new definition to the idea of a “normal lifestyle.” With ever-changing guidelines and overwhelming amounts of uncertainty, feelings of stress and concern are inevitable. While these feelings may seem wildly overwhelming, it is important to remember that there are ways to maintain a healthy mindset while tackling all of the challenges brought on by these unprecedented times.
Taking the appropriate steps to ensure you are keeping yourself and others safe while also keeping your mental health a priority can be a lot to juggle, but it is not impossible. Below we take a look at some of the ways that will help you transition into the “New Normal”.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself in times of uncertainty, is making sure you prioritize self-care. As humans, it is natural for you to want to take care of others and do everything you can to make the people in your lives feel safe. But without giving yourself the same attention and care, you can find yourself feeling more stressed and panicked than you were before. When you start to make yourself a priority, the way you respond to outside stressors change. You are more likely to approach uncertainty from a state of feeling calm, collected, and grounded. Setting time aside for yourself to do things that make you happy and allowing yourself to take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed are wonderful ways to practice self care. In today’s ‘new normal’ grant yourself the willingness to create time for YOU and what you love.
It’s no question that Covid-19 has forced you to change your expectations of what this year and future years will be like, which can result in feelings of powerlessness and fear. The truth is, uncertainty is tough for everyone!
While you may not be able to control how things are going to continue in the future, you can control how you respond. (this is where your power lies!)
Adjusting your expectations to match reality and focusing on what you can control will allow you to cope with the ever changing world you are currently in.
Relying on facts, taking the proper precautions, and striving to maintain as much of a routine as possible are ways you can regain that sense of control and develop a coping mindset that will not only help you now but with other challenging situations in the future.
Unfortunately, there is not much that has not been affected by Covid-19. Just about everyone in the world is learning how to adjust their lifestyles accordingly. Because of this, there are several outlets and resources offering help and guidance when it comes to tackling the challenges of adapting to a new lifestyle and trying to cope with the emotions that come with it. Reaching out for help can give you new perspectives on how to handle problems you may be facing, as well as give you the relief that you are not the only one dealing with these problems. Now is the time to prioritize your mental wellbeing. Reach out to a therapist, call on a friend or trusted neighbor so you can create space in your life and find moments of calm with the ever changing landscape of the world.
The Covid 19 Pandemic is creating history and it is your chance to create a plan for your personal success. Adjusting to change is hard. Creating systems and plans for your overall well being is essential so you can become more resilient, more grounded, and more in tune with your personal guidance system – your emotions!
Inner Clarity believes that you are in the driver’s seat of your personal emotional success. Our trained therapists serve as guides so you can begin to explore your emotions, give them a place to land and feel validated, and learn to navigate the road of uncertainty. Your well being is our priority because you deserve to find happiness. Are you ready to unpack your emotions so you can become more resilient in the face of change? Reserve your spot in our upcoming “Coping with the New Normal” Support Group for Adults (18+) by calling 732-639-0232 today!
For young children, developing life is full of obstacles that force them to process challenges and fall down so that they can learn how to continue to get up...
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”. -Viktor E. Frankl
Have you ever watched a baby develop? For young children, developing life is full of obstacles that force them to process challenges and fall down so that they can learn how to continue to get up and try and try again.
Despite how amazing it may be to watch resiliency in action, in the eyes of a baby, life can feel pretty unfair at times.
Babies learn to be resilient through doing. They face a road block, express their emotional reaction, and then continue on to whatever is next for their developing life.
As adults, it is important to remember this natural resiliency that we so willingly showed as a child. Resiliency is part of human nature!
It’s time to detach the monkey mind from what is or is not and focus on how to be the most resilient version of your personal self.
You were once a resilient baby. So, what do you have to do as an adult to mimic this important survival skill and encourage resiliency in your grown-up self?
Resilience, in itself, is the capacity of your internal and external systems to deal with change and continue to develop.
Facing opposition is an integral part of life which blesses you with an opportunity to practice being resilient, embrace change, and spur renewal and personal growth.
But it’s not always easy.
Here are three simple steps to continue to encourage your reactions to align with resiliency.
When it comes to practicing resiliency, your mindset will be your best friend. Becoming aware of your thoughts and gently shifting toward letting go help to free your emotional energy to focus on the good. You have the power to create your best life. Believe it and seek out this worldly validation daily. The more you continue to shift your focus toward what is going well, the more open you become to receive the goodness that life has in store for you.
Click here https://www.innerclarityllc.com/our-therapists/ to find out more about our team of therapists each with their own specialty areas. We are here to help you find your Inner Clarity and discover your best self today.
If there’s one thing we know for sure it’s that body’s change. Whether this change comes through aging, parenthood, surgery, or lifestyle, your remarkable body can stretch, shrink, create life, break, bend, and heal. And if there’s another thing that remains certain, it’s that you will remain in your body for as long as you live.
If there’s one thing we know for sure it’s that body’s change. Whether this change comes through aging, parenthood, surgery, or lifestyle, your remarkable body can stretch, shrink, create life, break, bend, and heal.
And if there’s another thing that remains certain, it’s that you will remain in your body for as long as you live.
That’s a pretty important reason to allow yourself to respect and honor the current transition your body is in!
Practicing body positivity is a radical way to transform your relationship to your skin suit and share gratitude for this vessel that carries YOU around. Here are six ways to learn to love yourself so you can find happiness with exactly where your body is in this moment of time.
Practicing body positivity is a deliberate movement to bring more love and gratitude to your deserving self. At Inner Clarity, LLC in Hazlet, NJ our therapists excel at helping people to recognize where they are now and find gratitude for the many roads that got you and your beautiful body here. Our therapists understand how to work with you so you can find peace, respect, and love for your life and the body that allows you to live it. Ready to love your body so you can enhance your happiness? Book an appointment today.
As your body changes through physical fitness, so does your mind when addressing mental wellness. While it may feel like a simpler decision to begin to work on your outward appearance, taking time to work on becoming mentally fit has benefits that go much further than skin deep. Yet, with the rush of modern life, some men still struggle with making their mental health a priority.
As your body changes through physical fitness, so does your mind when addressing mental wellness. While it may feel like a simpler decision to begin to work on your outward appearance, taking time to work on becoming mentally fit has benefits that go much further than skin deep.
Yet, with the rush of modern life, some men still struggle with making their mental health a priority.
So much so, that the disparity between how men and women treat their mental wellness differ tremendously.
There is no biological difference in being predisposed to emotional instability or to cultivate the ability to express feelings between men and women. Both men and women experience depression as well as the full spectrum of all mental illness yet women are diagnosed at alarmingly higher rates than men.
Almost 70% of all suicides are by men. Which means that men are struggling with their mental wellness and not seeking professional treatment to help them cope and feel good in their lives.
As a society, phrases like ‘Man Up’ and ‘Be a Man about it’ shield men from acknowledging their own unique spectrum of emotions. Instead of knowing that it’s acceptable to feel sad, overwhelmed, and cry, many men have been conditioned to ‘suck it up,’ dangerously suppressing real emotional truths about who they are and how they feel. Men are encouraged to lean into reactions such as anger and rage, with a mild understanding that these too are emotions that deserve a secure setting to be expressed without taking a personal victim.
Many men have been conditioned since childhood to tough it out, suck it up, and keep on moving forward. With this programming, it’s understandable why some men don’t feel comfortable reaching out to mental health professionals. Because of this conditioning however, some men are so out of touch with their unique emotional spectrum that they don’t even realize they are depressed or consumed by thoughts that leave them feeling enraged, less then and unworthy.
This conditioning is a disaster for men’s mental health.
Of course, not all men are the same. Some men find the willingness to speak up about how their thoughts are affecting their lives. Yet many still find it terribly uncomfortable.
Men, it’s time to make your mental health a priority!
Here’s a few things you should know:
Emotional are normal.
You were not designed to be stoic.
A range of emotions, including stress, sadness, and depression simply mean that you are a human being experiencing life through your unique lens.
The suppression of your mental health is killing you at alarming rates.
The lack of awareness and connection to your ability to express emotions is causing further repression.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to not feel imprisoned by your thoughts.
Mental Wellness is a muscle that can be trained.
Like being in the gym, your mental health enhances when you take time to work on it.
If you don’t know where to begin with exercise, you seek out professional advice.
When you don’t know how to begin with unpacking your mental wellness, seek professional support for guidance.
Therapy is not dramatic.
Therapy is not about laying on a couch, bawling uncontrollably about your upbringing.
Therapy is a safe place to acknowledge your experiences and talk aloud with a professional about how they are affecting you.
Men, your mental health is worth your time. You deserve happiness. You deserve a safe space to feel into your life experiences.
Inner Clarity in Hazlet, New Jersey works with men to help quantify where they currently are in their lives and where they’d like to go. At Inner Clarity, our therapists help men to set goals and learn to rate how they feel so they have an understanding of how to progress toward a life feeling more fulfilled. Our therapists employ techniques such as CBT, EMDR, and Brainspotting; evidenced-based practices used to address depression, anxiety, and trauma. Inner Clarity offers a safe space for men to unpack their thoughts and decompress from their day. an appointment now and get on the path to nurturing your mental health and feeling better, today!
There has never been a more important time to actively practice acceptance and teach the world’s children to do the same. Acceptance is a daily value that needs regular validation and encouragement; giving adult caregivers an opportunity to practice preaching and implementing regularly.
There has never been a more important time to actively practice acceptance and teach the world’s children to do the same. Acceptance is a daily value that needs regular validation and encouragement; giving adult caregivers an opportunity to practice preaching and implementing regularly. Because children engage life with a natural curiosity, insightful adult response is necessary to raise the newest generation to be tolerant, ever helpful, and accepting human beings.
The influence adults have over a child’s forming opinion when curiosity rears its head is tremendous. It’s a heavily weighted responsibility, not to be taken lightly. This means that every eye-roll, sigh, sarcastic comment made by an adult is absorbed by a child. Physical communication as a parent is a major influencer on a child’s ability to truly thrive as an accepting and loving human being.
Acceptance stems from curiosity, empathy, and compassion. Children are taught these emotional states of being as they are taught intolerance, self-absorption, and hierarchy. Ultimately, it is up to an adult caretaker to examine their own levels of intolerance, reactivity, and response so they can teach children to see the world from a more loving place. Mindfulness toward how you feel and what you project toward and in front of children is essential to creating sympathetic human beings who are willing to see sameness in all they encounter.
Acceptance begins at home. It begins within. And with a solid internal foundation of acceptance, sharing with children becomes easier.
Here are three ways to take an active role in teaching acceptance at home.
Looking for a way to enhance the dialogue with children? Anarghya Nirbail, LAC, is a therapist at our practice who specializes in working with children over the age of six. She is formally trained in CBT from the Aaron Beck Institute and is able to implement play therapy in order to engage children in the therapeutic process. Read more about Anarghya, and schedule an appointment with her HERE.
