Inner Clarity Authors

“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity”- Nat Turner

In relationships, one of the hardest skills to master is healthy and effective communication. Realistically, we might not be able to completely eliminate disagreements and misunderstandings from our day to day life, but applying communication techniques could potentially increase connectedness as well as create a safe emotional environment for both partners.

The following are some skills that we can use when communicating with our partners-

• "I" Statements: I feel ___ when ___ because _ _ _ . What i need is _ _ _ .
• Be kind: it is important to come from a place of kindness and grace when we are upset, if we are able to remember to express ourselves through kindness, it might help to lower heightened emotions in intense situations.
• Communicate empathy: name the feeling + validate the feeling. Empathy is shown when you communicate that your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and needs make sense to you and that you understand their experience. That does not mean that you necessarily agree with them. It is okay if you don’t agree with them, empathizing does not devalue your interpretation of events.
• Mindful listening: listen to understand rather than respond.
• Practice gratitude: share thoughts of appreciation with your partner, creating a routine daily expressions of gratitude can be mutually beneficial.
• Create a habit of reunion: such as hugging, kissing, dancing whenever you see each other.

There are many different effective ways that couples can communicate. Through rituals and healthy habits we are able to create connections that we can count on. By using some of these skills, we can help to increase healthy interactions and reconnect during a time filled with uncertainty and stress.  Do you think couples therapy would be helpful for your relationship? We can help. Click here to connect to Charlene’s page.

Self care – Definition: Doing things that make you feel more like yourself

The last few months we’ve been faced with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. Practicing self care during the coronavirus pandemic can help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress associated with social distancing. If you feel that you are struggling, I have compiled a list of things you can try at home to refocus on yourself, recenter your mind and make it through the day.

1. Simplify your schedule
   • If you are feeling overwhelmed with your day to day schedule and goals, ask yourself which things can you let go of, which things you can do in parts and prioritize. Which activities are truly adding to your life? Intentionally make space for those activities daily.
2. Movement, movement, movement
   • Any form of physical movement such as swimming, jogging, yoga, outdoor walks can energize your body and mind.  While practicing safe social distancing rules, take advantage of the nice summer weather to move around outside, getting your heart rate up can boost your mood.
3. Take a long, warm bath or shower
   • Take the time to relax by yourself –  you can light candles, put on your favorite playlist, read a book or magazine. Even if you have time constraints and have to take a quick one, try to focus on being present and mindful for full relaxation.
4. Unplug
   • Due to the quarantine you might find yourself on your phone a lot more, go on a social media and technology fast. Sometimes giving yourself a break from your phone and social media applications can alleviate pressure and stress as well as help you reset your thoughts on positive things.
5. Get some shut eye
   • Give yourself the space to rest, even though we are home more we might find ourselves busier by taking on multiple roles and projects. As a result our bodies might actually become more exhausted – try to take a nap during the day or go to bed earlier to give your body some extra rest.
6. Dance it out
   • Take some time to center yourself through music. Put on your favorite dance music, and shake your body.
7. De-clutter
   • For those of you who like to stay busy, sometimes you can feel accomplished by completing small tasks around the house. Choose a place — your email inbox, your desk, a closet — and get rid of the excess and junk.
8. Listen to a podcast
   • Podcasts can be listened to while participating in any of the above mentioned activities. To narrow your search some topics to search for can include: mindfulness, self love, gratitude. Some recommendations include: Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations, anything Brene Brown.

Bonus one for pet owners:

9. Snuggle your pet
   • Spend some quality time with your pet by playing with them or giving them some snuggles, embrace their unconditional love.

Everyone’s self care journey is unique, so the things that work at home for some might not work for others and that is completely okay.  Embrace your individual journey through trial and error and create an individualized tool box full of self care activities. It is especially important that we take the time to learn about ourselves through self care techniques during a global pandemic.

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