Partner with the right Inner Clarity therapist for you to manage workplace stress in three simple ways.
Our jobs are where we spend countless hours of our lives. They’re often what we’ve trained or studied to be able to do, and labor can be a source of continuous fulfillment. Yet, stress has increasingly pervaded employees’ well-being and productivity in today's fast-paced work environment. This means more and more people are leaving important trades, struggling to advance in careers they’re capable of excelling in, and ultimately dread clocking into work when they deserve to start each shift with a stable sense of mental health.
Consider this Inner Clarity guide on how to spot the signs of workplace stress, effectively manage its causes, and why meeting with a virtual therapist who is right for your needs can enable you to thrive in any role, any vocation.
According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, workplace stress is “the harmful physical and emotional responses that occur when the requirements of the job do not match the capabilities, resources, or needs of the worker.” In practice, this may look like excessive workloads, tight deadlines, and conflicting expectations, causing employees to burn out and suffer from mental or physiological maladies even after completing that day’s tasks.
Take stock if you’ve been experiencing muscular tension, heart palpitations, an inability to concentrate, increased irritability, or just general, sustained anxiety or depression. If you grapple with those symptoms arising from your work, know you’re not alone. Forty-four percent of respondents to a 2022 survey reported being stressed at work the day before, the World Economic Forum recorded, a three-year-in-a-row increase across the globe that may be caused by recent disruptions to what workplaces look like given the mass shuttering of office spaces.
Though the workplace may be a common source of consternation, there are numerous ways to successfully regain control over what’s causing stress. Review these three strategies and how you might apply them in your environment.
Productivity is a key measure of a good employee. Yet setting unrealistic goals or trying to progress too many assignments simultaneously will only undermine the quality of your efforts and heap unnecessary stress onto your plate.
Say you’re grappling with a big project. Try breaking it down into smaller, more manageable deadlines and categorizing the items into different priorities, focusing on the most critical parts first. You might notice momentum build as completing one thing motivates you to tackle another. Of course, procrastinating can still be tempting when bogged down by a particularly challenging task. In that case, set a timer to work on what’s causing you stress for a short time. Then set a timer for a short break. Rinse and repeat, and you’ll be ticking off your to-do list in no time.
The rise of job-related stress may be caused by more widely available remote jobs disrupting the balance between workers’ home and work lives. Without a clear division between when the workday ends and when relaxation can begin, employees are prone to burnout, making it difficult to keep up with other familial responsibilities and spill over into more stress.
But you don’t have to be engaged in a remote job to understand that setting boundaries between work and personal life is crucial to mental well-being. To obtain a healthy equilibrium, create a reasonable schedule that corresponds to your supervisor’s expectations. When assigned needless overtime, advocate for your needs and dedicate time to self-care. You deserve to enjoy adequate rest and relaxation to become the creative and high-energy worker your workplace is sure to benefit from.
While there are specific coping skills you can wield to navigate workplace stress better, understand that you don’t have to develop a plan all on your own. Counseling services provided by your employer or an outside mental health professional can help you identify the root cause of your worries and move forward with addressing them in a healthy manner.
Notably, virtual therapy allows you to engage in mental health support from the comfort and privacy of your own home, making it easier than ever to fit stress relief into your busy calendar. Online therapy also offers an opportunity to connect with trained providers from all over the world – a key advantage if you happen to live in one of the United States’ countless areas where local mental health providers are in short supply.
To find a virtual therapist best suited to your unique circumstances, it’s a good idea to get a hold of mental health providers who are committed to your priorities. That’s to say, Inner Clarity boasts a roster of trained therapists who are all interested in incorporating a holistic approach to wellness. Perhaps you’d be most comfortable meeting with a therapist who understands your cultural background or has experience treating patients navigating trauma. Inner Clarity counselors specialize in a variety of treatment styles and are capable of helping you thrive inside the workplace and out.
A job well done is one of the most rewarding things you can do. But rising stress levels in the workplace, from breakdowns in the usual professional-personal life balance and other sources, too often cause stress that bubbles up into physical and mental health challenges. By employing effective time management, setting hard boundaries to protect your home life, and meeting with a virtual therapist, you can alleviate the symptoms of workplace stress. Request an appointment today with Inner Clarity to meet with a provider specializing in the individual treatment styles you need for a clearer and healthier life.
Practice self-care tips: Five ways to support your physical and mental well-being alongside any virtual therapy services provider.
Drinking water, sleeping in, taking a walk in nature, or grabbing lunch with a friend. These may sound like insignificant things on their own, yet when enacted together and with intention, they are the kinds of activities that constitute the vital practice of self-care. But what exactly is self-care? Self-care can be developed on your own or with the help of therapy services, but it is largely defined by the set of actions, habits, and routines through which you commit to nourishing your mental, emotional, and social well-being throughout your life.
While certain aspects of mental health care, like prescription medication or intensive one-on-one counseling, will always serve as effective tools of treatment, more and more people today are realizing that consistently utilized self-care provides an accessible way to cultivate stability through reliable and even enjoyable measures. Review this Inner Clarity guide to gain applicable self-care tips and learn more about how partnering with a virtual therapist can make it easier to get started and stay supported.
Every person’s best method of self-care will ultimately be unique to that individual, but there are common categories of personal upkeep prone to benefit anyone. Consider the following self-care tips in devising your own special plan.
Change is simply a part of life, and it’s to every person’s advantage to accept that. However, daily routines can help you fashion a sense of structure that reduces the stress that results from unnecessary uncertainty. For example, by scheduling specific blocks of time to fit in exercise and meditation before work, you can guarantee that you are repeatedly nurturing your body and mind. Then, that allows you to relax guilt-free. To begin, try writing a list of what an ideal day looks like to you. Next, examine what would be manageable or realistic to include before you climb into bed for a full night’s sleep. Routines will clarify your priorities and the best regimens offer a realistic and balanced path towards living your best life every day of the week.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, even 30 minutes a day of walking, dancing, or yard work will strengthen your muscles and reduce the risk of diseases. Though fitting in exercise every day can seem intimidating at first, you’ll soon come to crave it as the body releases multiple feel-good hormones like serotonin during a workout, and physical activity helps the flow of oxygen through your tissues, which boosts energy levels. You can discover more ways to move your body by tweaking parts of your work commute to allow for more walking, or by finding a friend to do yoga with. Regardless, physical health isn’t just fostered by going to the gym. Review what you usually eat to consider how you may start weaving in nutrients and vitamins missing from your diet, and ensure you’re getting adequate amounts of sleep.
Implementing more mindfulness into your life has the potential to enhance your mental clarity and reduce anxiety at lengths you cannot even imagine. The principles of mindfulness involve being curious about your feelings — noticing how they arise and change — instead of being judgemental about any experience being intrinsically one fixed way. While that may sound complicated at first, you can cultivate mindfulness by integrating meditation, stretching, journaling, or deep-breathing exercises into your daily life. These activities give low-barrier ways to deliberately build a sense of patience and apply trust to your inner movements, thus removing the need to always be seeking the next source of external validation.
It’s fulfilling to work hard and make significant progress in the tasks we set out to complete. But the productivity pendulum can swing the other way and become unhealthy if we overwork ourselves to the point of frequent fatigue. By setting boundaries with your employer or job obligations, you can prevent burnout and make certain that every day extends an opportunity for you to be both useful and restive. Doing so often requires assertive communication to both advocate for your needs and arrive at a consensus of reasonable expectations. This can extend to social situations as well; learn to say no to friends or colleagues if you know that accepting the invitation will knock you off balance. You can convey gratitude to be included and suggest other times or activities that will better suit your well-being.
Newsflash: you stand to benefit from programming time to go for a bike ride or conduct some walking meditation after a hard end-of-the-work-day deadline. But indulging in hobbies or activities that bring you joy is also healthy! Self-care doesn’t have to be limited to trying out new and challenging tasks. Appraise which of your personal interests you could just talk endlessly about and how you might protect those pursuits. The pleasure gained from starting a new crochet project, setting aside an evening for a good movie, or facilitating a board game night is no trivial thing if it regularly makes you happy. Find a friend or family member who shares your interests and schedule a weekly date to meet up and take part in your favorite thing together.
The above self-care tips provide a good place to start when creating your own daily, habitual practice. But you don’t have to set off on supporting your mental health all on your own. Inner Clarity provides a roster of experienced professionals who offer virtual therapy services capable of being tailored to the most effective treatment for your individual needs.
Virtual therapy services enable you to support your mental health in the most convenient way possible. This way, you can check in with a qualified provider about the ongoing status of your self-care routine from the comfort and privacy of your own home, which makes it easier to maintain a consistent commitment to weekly sessions. An Inner Clarity expert therapist who will become familiar with your mental health challenges can also render customized self-care tips for what will be most beneficial to your comprehensive well-being. That means that a counselor can teach and troubleshoot what kind of mindfulness techniques work best for you based on you, help form realistic physical activity goals, and assist you in talking through how to communicate boundaries with your boss or loved ones.
In today’s busy world, applied self-care is a reliable method to create a foundation for your own physical, mental, and social health. Constructing a daily routine that periodically embraces physical exercise, mindful techniques, firm boundaries, and occasions for unabashed joy will offer a well-balanced well-being. What’s more, Inner Clarity therapy services are the best at orchestrating a plan for obtaining a sustainable self-care plan on top of personalized counseling. That way, you can engage in specific services — perhaps you’re interested in cognitive behavioral therapy for generalized anxiety, or marital counseling for you and your spouse — while also enacting a self-care routine outside of regular sessions with the confidence you are participating in the right medley of treatment for you. Partner with Inner Clarity and request an appointment today to learn more about how you can embark and empower yourself on your self-care journey.
Understanding Depression: Learn more about the disorder to find the right online therapist best suited to your needs
Chances are that you or someone you know has struggled with depression. A major episode can last at least two weeks, but stretch on much longer as a loss of interest in daily activities and other complications take hold. In the U.S., depression affects around 17 million adults, the National Library of Medicine recorded, though that count is likely an underestimate because many people don’t seek medical attention. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Online therapy for depression is one of the best ways for those grappling with the disorder to connect with a qualified professional and gain an individualized approach to effectively manage otherwise exhausting symptoms.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression is a “common and serious mental disorder that negatively affects how you feel, think, act, and perceive the world.” A diagnosis likely arises if you report prolonged feelings of sadness, fatigue, difficulty focusing, and diminished self-worth. Depression often involves significant changes to previously established aspects of your life, as activities you once took pleasure in become no longer enjoyable.
Some people experience repeating episodes of depression, while others undergo persistent periods, struggling with it seasonally or after childbirth. If gone untreated, the disorder may result in suicidal ideation — if you’re having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Symptoms and serverity of this disorder ultimately vary, but three general indicators tend to surface in those who need online therapy for depression:
Consider these signs to determine if you might want to pursue an online therapist for depression.
There’s good reason to be sad about many things in life, but it becomes a different matter if you experience depression every day. People wrestling with depression tend to describe enduring bouts of emptiness, in which the drive to pursue new or exciting things has crumbled away.
Crucially, depression in this case is not merely a “rut” or a particularly intense case of the blues that someone can simply break out of on their own. People diagnosed with depression often report getting less from the world around them.
Depression often negatively affects what fundamentally helps regulate a person’s mood. For example, around 40 percent of people diagnosed with insomnia also have clinical depression, a Sleep Medicine Reviews study found. Without the restorative hours of rest needed to feel balanced, fatigue strains the ability to stay concentrated. Likewise, depression’s knack for sapping away happiness means it may unfortunately seem more appealing to stay in bed and just sleep.
What’s more, depression can result in fluctuations to appetite, as past favorite food becomes no longer enjoyable, or you turn to eating as a coping mechanism. The resulting change in one’s body weight may further disrupt their feeling of autonomy.
Without the motivation to do simple things like get out of bed, get in the shower and get dressed, it may feel impossible to muster the energy needed to take on the rest of life’s many complex but rewarding challenges. Depression is a draining disorder precisely because it makes it difficult to feel good about one’s self in light of prolonged periods of not accomplishing tasks.
This becomes particularly challenging when it spurs a self-repeating cycle: withdrawing from the hobbies that previously provided a steady stream of fulfillment may give way to a pattern of self-isolation after it feels too daunting to re-engage.
Beginning the search for online therapy for depression might seem overwhelming at first, given the number of therapists and treatment options available. Inner Clarity can help you identify the characteristics of an online therapist for treating depression who can tailor a treatment program to meet your needs.
As depression is one of the more common mental disorders, a good portion of therapists have experience in treating it. However, some counselors who offer online therapy for depression have more specific qualifications or certifications that distinguish their experience. Furthermore, symptoms of depression can arise or manifest in ways unique to your life. Weigh whether you’d like to prioritize working with an online therapist for depression who relates to your gender identity or culture background in order to feel the most comfortable in discussing sensitive matters.
One method toward treating depression may work better for you than others. Some counselors employ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which addresses the disorder by recognizing and disrupting learned-patterns of negative thinking. Others are trained in Interpersonal Therapy, which provides a more structured process towards addressing your relationships to others by targeting four main areas of stress. Whichever therapy approach you prefer, an online therapist can tailor its steps, its process to fit around your specific goals.
Online therapy for depression is unique in that it’s one of the most accessible forms of health care. By tuning into a secure video call from the privacy of your own residence, you cut out potential barriers that could have otherwise prevented you from joining a session. Say goodbye to time-consuming commutes to distant offices, and hello to flexible scheduling instead. Furthermore, countless American communities suffer from a shortage of mental health providers. Online therapy platforms allow you to access counselors you would otherwise never have available nearby — professionals willing to meet you where and whenever you are.
Depression isn’t something that should be swept under the rug. Its symptoms can be deceptively enervating, or outright debilitating. Protracted feelings of hopelessness, exacerbated by an altered sleep schedule, abnormal appetite and loss of energy all spell out a need for professional mental health support. Inner Clarity offers you an opportunity to match with an online therapist for depression who can provide substantial help through individual, marital or even group-focused models. Request an appointment to learn more about how you can gain a a clear mind for a healthy life.
Understand how mindfulness therapy can change your life through three strategies.
An increasingly popular form of therapy is also one of civilization's oldest. We’re talking about mindfulness therapy, a holistic practice that emphasizes the connection between one’s mind and body through accessible, meditative techniques. Though members of various religious traditions have been implementing mindfulness-informed exercises for generations, The National Library of Medicine recently recorded that Google’s search volume for “mindfulness” increased by 95 percent between 2004 and 2020. That surge is a testament to the growing recognition that mindfulness therapy is an effective tool for addressing a wide range of mental health concerns.
Review this Inner Clarity guide to learn more about what defines mindfulness-based therapy and gain strategies for how to cultivate its benefits to improve your everyday life.
Some principles that undergird mindfulness therapy might sound simple in theory, but they can potentially transform one’s life.
For example, you may be familiar with the virtue of non-judgemental observations. It’s important not to assign wholesale good or bad judgments to other people based on every little thing they do. Now imagine wielding that same caliber of acceptance towards the constant tide of your inner experiences. Instead of ruling out entire situations, try being curious about your feelings and you’ll notice how they arise and change, how no experience is intrinsically one fixed way. To that end, patience, trust, and deliberate attentiveness to the passing moment are other key principles of mindfulness-based therapy.
Enacting such an approach in your daily routine, much less in stressful times, is a difficult task. That challenge is compounded by the fact it requires a gentle kind of focus, and we live in a world where technology is always available to snag our attention. Regardless of where you are or what you do, know there are manageable ways to incorporate the tenets of mindfulness into your life.
To improve your ability to start and end each day with a sense of mindfulness, consider embracing the following plan: explore regular meditative procedures, integrate mindfulness into everyday tasks that you otherwise overlook, and introduce mindfulness to how you interact with the people around you in order to enhance interpersonal relationships.
It’s no coincidence that breathwork is a part of many common meditation methods. Since our breath is a constant but fluid feature of every moment we’re alive, focusing on our breathing allows us to find a calming foundation to center ourselves and build mindfulness.
It can take as little as five minutes before bed, sitting on a cushion and noticing your own steady breathing. Or, you can lie on a yoga mat and conduct a “body scan,” which entails slowly shifting your consciousness up from your toes through your limbs, torso, and finally to your crown. Any amount of time you can dedicate to collecting your attention inward will likely capture and grow a steady sense of mindfulness.
Once you start carving out space for specific mindfulness techniques, it’s possible you won't want to stop. However, mindfulness is something you can incorporate into everyday, mundane tasks. How? Try commuting to work without any music or podcasts, and set an intention for the day. Likewise, sit down to eat dinner without watching a screen, and try to savor every bite, noticing when you’re no longer hungry.
Leaning into mindfulness during daily activities will reduce overall stress levels, as you may be holding more tension than you realize. Thus, you will free up your mental bandwidth to be more focused and productive. Furthermore, easing mindfulness into routine responsibilities can expand a sense of gratitude and fulfillment out of ordinary events.
The advantages of mindfulness don’t have to stop at the individual level. After becoming comfortable with the way emotions surface and move, you’re apt to gain a new perspective on how to articulate what is causing patterns of stress in your life. Appreciating the temporary nature of your feelings may also allow you to step outside of yourself and lend more empathy to what others are going through.
Certain mindfulness techniques — like avoiding multitasking when interacting with someone, refraining from assuming what others think or feel, and “going with the flow” rather than having preconceived ideas of interactions — will enable you to communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts, and enjoy time spent in the company of your interpersonal relationships.
While the value of mindfulness is clear, constant work emails, family group chat notifications, blaring news cycles, and the latest popular television show all offer a source of interruptions. That’s why working with a trained therapist who specializes in a mindfulness-based approach can help you gain the support needed to cut through the noise and build a practice designed for your specific mental health needs.
Mindfulness therapy sessions are often grounded in conversations to identify and diagnose harmful thoughts or behaviors. The therapist may then incorporate mindfulness practices like those listed above to help you become aware of those dysfunctional patterns, learn how to break out from them when they arise, and prevent them from repeating. According to Psychology Today, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy has been proven effective at treating a variety of disorders, such as depression, generalized anxiety, and addiction.
Mindfulness therapy can reduce stress, improve concentration, enhance your ability to regulate emotions and foster more resilience to uncertainty, all through relatively inexpensive methods that prioritize calming breathwork and self-acceptance.
You might now understand why mindfulness has become a well-sought-after practice. Its techniques, many with ancient origins, allow you to access a deeper connection to the beats of your everyday life and unlock a more peaceful existence. Consult Inner Clarity’s roster of qualified professionals who have experience in providing mindfulness therapy through a virtual model so you can feel supported in embarking on your mental health journey from the comfort of your own home. Request an appointment today to bring your mind, body, and spirit into balance and create a clear mind for a healthy life.
Whether you’re seeking cognitive behavioral therapy for a panic disorder, group sessions to address social anxiety, or marital counseling for you and your spouse, Inner Clarity has you covered with a range of qualified professionals available online.
Hanging out with friends, shopping for groceries, arranging travel plans. Living with anxiety means routine activities like these can easily become suffused with tension and even lead to panic attacks. While stress is a natural part of everyday life, the National Alliance on Mental Illness reported that over 40 million Americans have an anxiety disorder, making it the most common mental health issue in the country. The good news is that connecting with an anxiety therapist can help you gain relief and resilience from the disorder’s disruptive symptoms.
Read this unique Inner Clarity guide to learn more about the different types of anxiety, whether any of their signs ring familiar to your daily experience, and how to find a professional counselor who will provide the most effective treatment for you.
A hallmark of anxiety disorders, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, is that typically, temporary nervousness or fears linger and get worse over time. Worrying about something important, like a job interview, can be useful when you’re galvanized to practice for it ahead of time. But anxiety disorders often cause physical ailments like chronic fatigue, stomachaches, and heart palpitations — which get in the way of feeling prepared for anything.
Just as there are many sources of stress, there are multiple kinds of anxiety disorders.
Generalized anxiety disorder involves sustained feelings of dread, making it difficult to concentrate or fall asleep. This disorder usually runs in families and starts exhibiting itself in your childhood years, Johns Hopkins Medicine found.
Social anxiety disorder concerns feelings of discomfort around others, so you might sweat, become self-conscious, and avoid making eye contact in group settings.
A panic disorder is normally diagnosed if you experience sudden episodes of feeling out of control, where your heart races and your chest hurts. These can happen multiple times a day, leaving you on edge while waiting for the next one.
Working with a qualified anxiety therapist to determine whether you have a specific anxiety disorder can help clarify how to move forward with care. Consider the following signs that ordinarily accompany any anxiety diagnosis if you’re seeking mental health support.
Take notice if you frequently feel restless, tired, or strained. Anxiety can be linked to various other underlying medical conditions, according to The Mayo Clinic. Enduring tension might be a sign of heart disease, diabetes, or drug misuse. It’s not uncommon for anxiety to manifest physical complications, like gastrointestinal issues, and anticipating those physical complications could spawn further distress.
A consistent symptom of almost every anxiety disorder is spiraling worry. This may entail lengthy periods of feeling on edge, involuntarily ruminating over what previously occurred or might happen, that far exceed the proportion of real danger posed by a situation. When controlling nerves or phobias feels like an unmanageable task, anxiety regularly causes people to harbor an impending sense of doom.
If left unchecked, an anxiety disorder can disrupt many aspects of everyday life. Anxiety might prevent you from concentrating while at work or staying present while in the company of loved ones. When worries remain at the forefront of your mind, pushing out other important things deserving of attention, it’s time to get assistance from an anxiety therapist.
An anxiety disorder doesn’t have to be a lifelong burden that you simply accept. Therapy for anxiety can help you comprehend the patterns that create persistent nervousness, gain specific coping skills to address stress in a healthy manner, and ultimately reclaim the parts of your life that were made unavailable due to anxiety.
Sitting down with an anxiety therapist, in particular, means you can access mental health care that is tailored to treat your specific disorder or concerns. All therapy programs and treatment plans create the opportunity for improving one’s mental health, but investing time with a professional who understands your individual needs is crucial for tackling the cause, and not just the symptoms, of anxiety.
If you’ve committed to seeking out an anxiety therapist but feel overwhelmed about starting the search, you’re not alone. Finding a therapist who will offer the best match can be challenging when there are myriad options available for such an important resource. Review Inner Clarity’s three helpful tips for obtaining the right anxiety therapist for you.
First, reflect on what you hope to accomplish while in therapy for anxiety. As outlined above, there are varying types of anxiety disorders and symptoms. Self-assessing what disorder you relate to most or what symptom you’re repeatedly grappling with can help you feel prepared when it comes to communicating your goals with counselors. Further, pinpointing your needs allows you to streamline your pursuit toward therapists who specialize in the treatment methods you prefer. For example, professionals trained in administering cognitive behavioral therapy are consistently well-suited to address general or social anxiety disorders. And for some people, a therapist of the same gender, or who understands one’s cultural background, is key when it comes to opening up about sensitive matters contributing to anxiety.
There are plenty of ways to explore qualified anxiety therapists, but some avenues might return better results than others. Your primary healthcare provider is a good place to start securing a counselor in your insurance network, and professional associations often boast extensive online rosters of qualified therapists located near where you live. Sometimes, the best options can be found by perusing what mental health care options are offered by therapy practices that prioritize the same values you do. All therapists accepting clients at Inner Clarity implement a mindful, holistic approach to treatment. By reading a therapist's professional profile, you can learn what unique education and certifications they include in their work.
Perhaps you’ve nailed down what you’d like to accomplish in therapy, but don’t know how you’ll reach those goals. Fortunately, therapy sessions can be tailored to meet your needs. Individual therapy is fruitful, but group therapy can offer a chance to learn from other people navigating similar issues, and family therapy can help confront the dynamic source of anxiety in a productive way. Lastly, while in-person therapy has long been the traditional norm, more and more folks today are taking advantage of the benefits of virtual therapy. Communities across the country lack robust local mental health care resources amid a shortage of providers, and the online modality can offer you access to anxiety therapists you would otherwise be unable to meet from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Though anxiety disorders are cited as the most common mental health concern in the country, there’s no reason why they should be misunderstood or ignored. Equipped with intelligence about the conditions and what to look for while searching for the right anxiety therapist, you can feel confident you’ll find a professional capable of personalizing a care plan to obtain the growth and relief from anxiety you deserve. Whether you’re seeking cognitive behavioral therapy for a panic disorder, group sessions to address social anxiety, or marital counseling for you and your spouse, Inner Clarity has you covered with a range of qualified professionals available online.
Request an appointment today to begin your journey towards a more balanced mind for a healthy life.
Mental health check-ups through virtual therapy services are an essential way to access proactive care and create a clear mind for a healthy life.
Every year, millions of people meet with their doctor for a regular physical. These check-ins monitor the patient’s health, and any new ailments can be detected early enough for effective treatment. One’s mental health is a crucial part of every person’s well-being and should be prioritized no differently. Mental health check-ups through virtual therapy services are an essential way to access proactive care and create a clear mind for a healthy life.
Perhaps you’ve worked with a therapist before because you were struggling with mental health challenges. Sitting down with a qualified professional is one of the best methods available toward learning how to navigate your mind and gain new coping skills. However, therapy is increasingly beneficial when it’s utilized more than just as a reactive measure to a crisis.
Mental health check-ups provide the opportunity for you and a provider to establish an understanding of your inner landscape and identify ongoing behaviors or habits to address. By frequently meeting with a therapist, you can prevent certain mental conditions from worsening with stress and disrupting your daily routines. Mental health check-ins ultimately contribute to your ability to manage anxiety and other concerns through nourishing practices that foster resilience.
During a typical mental health check-up, your therapist may ask you a standard set of questions about your mood, thoughts, behaviors, and memory. A therapist may also record information about factors that impact your mental health, such as your work, marital, family, and social history.
While it can be easy to lose track of how our mental health gradually shifts in our day-to-day lives, such targeted assessments mean you’re more likely to catch the onset of new symptoms or understand why new conditions have arisen. And by constructing benchmarks for your mental health, you can feel confident that new therapy practices or medications are providing signs of improvement.
Finding the right therapist for you in order to conduct these mental health check-ups can be a daunting task. Many communities grapple with a shortage of mental health providers, and it can be difficult to commit time out of our busy lives to the search. But by sharing three new strategies, Inner Clarity can help connect you with a trained expert.
By taking stock of your mental health concerns, you can organize what you hope to accomplish through counseling sessions. You may want to identify stress patterns in couples therapy, participate in group therapy for a safe space to navigate your emotions in, or explore a specific style of individual treatment like cognitive-behavioral therapy. Pinpointing what is most important to you will allow you to confirm you are paying attention to the right items in your mental health check-ups.
Many counselors specialize in unique topics or techniques, so exploring reputable online directories and what options are available through healthcare providers can enable you to find someone you’re comfortable establishing a schedule of mental health check-ups with. While it can be overwhelming to peruse so many therapist profiles, focus on platforms like Inner Clarity that offer professionals with decades of experience and individual approaches.
Wanting to pursue providers who can meet locally face-to-face is completely understandable, but note that doing so may narrow your options and obstruct you from meeting with a provider who will offer more effective treatment through virtual therapy. Taking your mental health check-ups online means you can fit them into your packed plate from the comfort of your own home, without ever having to factor in inconvenient commutes.
Consistent mental health check-ups will guarantee you have a grasp of your current mental health, where it has come from, and how it might change. Just like any other physical exam, sessions with a therapist will help you screen future disorders and assure they are treated effectively. In order to find a qualified provider to weave in mental health check-ups with the individual or group services you seek, consider forming your preferences first and initiating consultations through virtual therapy.
Request an appointment with Inner Clarity today to start your journey toward balance and a clear mind for a healthy life.
Cultivating interpersonal connections for your mental health: Three online relationship counseling tips from Inner Clarity's team of virtual therapists.
Regardless of where we are, our lives are inextricably tied to the people we’re surrounded by. Whether that’s family, friends, workmates, or even outlying acquaintances, everyone in our orbit has the ability to impact our overall well-being. That’s why learning how to foster strong, positive connections with those around us is such an important endeavor. Online relationship counseling can help you understand what healthy interpersonal bonds look like and how to facilitate them with the people you care about.
Review this Inner Clarity guide for three practical steps toward improving the romantic, familial, and platonic relationships that populate your life in order to attain balance for a clear mind.
Experts agree that what each individual first recognizes as a healthy relationship often derives from what they saw modeled while young. If people in your childhood household avoided discussing their emotions or failed to listen to one another, you may have developed a belief, through no fault of your own, that it’s right to carry on that behavior in your other relationships.
But it’s important to affirm that healthy relationships consist of people who are committed to identifying their emotions, sharing them, and therefore appreciating each others’ feelings. The relationships you want in your life, the kind that will support you, are built on mutual respect and trust. While it’s relatively common for someone to have differing expectations or even act dishonestly, there’s no good reason to tolerate that kind of conduct from folks you know and love.
Unless you live alone on a remote island, every day offers an opportunity to uphold the kinds of connections that you enjoy and value. By employing an active communication style, intentionally approaching your relationships from a place of empathy, and firming up clear boundaries that buttress the needs and limits of all parties involved, you can feel confident that you’re well prepared to properly maintain the ties that you have to others and create ever new ones.
A commitment to open communication lays the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without being honest with someone about what you’re thinking and experiencing, wanting and needing, how else can you enable that person to understand or meet your expectations? Though it’s a two-way street, of course. Effective communication requires that each participant be quiet while the other person is speaking and genuinely listen to what they’re saying.
In practice, try offering physical cues while someone’s sharing something with you, like nodding or making eye contact to let them know that you’re being present. Another great strategy is to couch your messages in a specific structure: state what you feel, why you think you feel that way, in what circumstances you’ve noticed feeling it, and what you would like to happen next.
While relaying one's feelings is vital to any relationship, it’s perfectly normal for two people to feel differently about the same situation. This means you may not immediately relate to what your spouse, friend, or colleague is expressing to you. Regardless, relationships can still thrive despite participants’ differing backgrounds if each person prioritizes empathy – the ability to imagine someone else’s perspective and, therefore, gain an understanding of what they are going through. Empathy is important because it allows you to determine that whatever decisions or changes you make together are best for everyone involved.
You can cultivate empathy by explicitly validating the emotions the other person is conveying, asking open-ended questions to learn more about where they are coming from, and examining your own biases to notice what misbeliefs are preventing you from appreciating others' feelings.
Sometimes, it’s difficult to realize that a bond is unhealthy. That’s because friends, romantic partners, and even family members can develop into co-dependent relationships, in which you are incredibly close but ultimately in a way that is unhealthy for each other’s well-being. By setting boundaries, you can set a framework that protects your personal space and individual needs.
Begin by evaluating what kind of behavior is off-limits between you and another person or even in what circumstances you would prefer to spend time together. If someone doesn’t respect your boundary even after you’ve articulated it to them, that’s a clear sign they don’t respect what is best for you. For example, a work peer may begin confiding in you about serious challenges they’re experiencing in their personal life. While it’s important to support your fellow team members, you may also express that you’re not comfortable discussing sensitive matters in the workplace and offer to assist them in finding help from a professional.
Inner Clarity’s virtual therapy services provide one of the best paths forward to solidifying healthy relationships in your daily life. Our experienced mental health providers are prepared to apply their expertise to your unique situation and fashion guidance that will further your beneficial relationships and address your detrimental ones. As a result, our online relationship counseling is capable of transforming sources of stress into reclaimed sources of connection.
Online relationship counseling is also special because you can meet with a trained therapist from the comfort and privacy of your own home. This means scheduling therapy into your busy calendar becomes easier than ever, and you can schedule consultations with counselors from all over the country rather than being limited to what provider offices are available in your local area.
Our romantic, platonic, and familial relationships with other people are essential parts of life, but their integrity must also be maintained. Healthy relationships of the kind that help us feel less alone and give us joy are possible through the exercise of clear communication, empathetic listening, and rational boundaries. Working with a therapist via Inner Clarity’s online relationship counseling will ensure that you can nurture healthy relationships. Request an appointment with an Inner Clarity counselor today to begin your journey toward your best life.
Inner Clarity has identified three effective approaches for steering any person striving to make the most out of Florida therapy services: define your preferences, utilizing online resources, and schedule initial consultations.
It’s become a well-known fact that mental health is a critical part of any person’s life. Without a balanced mind, it can be difficult to navigate daily stressors, harbor positive self-esteem, and plan for the future with confidence. In states like Florida, which faces a dire shortage of practitioners, the struggle to find the right therapist can act as a major obstacle in the search for Florida therapy services.
One of the best ways to promote mental health is by working with an experienced therapist. Matched with the right guidance, every counseling session means accessing a source of attentive support and making significant leaps towards achieving your goals.
Yet finding a compatible therapist isn’t always easy. Plenty of states, including Florida, have developed shortages. When evaluating what professionals are available, new patients must discern whether those providers are suited to treat their specialized needs.
For those struggling to begin their search, know that you’re not alone. But by sharing new strategies on how to connect with qualified Florida therapy services, Inner Clarity can help ensure you have expert company while on your path towards holistic wellness.
For many people, the opportunity to finally sit down with a therapist cannot arrive soon enough.
However, in our busy lives, it isn’t easy to build time around securing something new, something we may have learned to cope without. Recognizing what type of mental health concerns you want to prioritize, where to look for experienced professionals, and how to follow through with obtaining accessible care can come as a daunting undertaking.
While there are numerous advantages to pursuing providers who are available to meet face-to-face, exclusively limiting your hunt to in-person sessions will only reduce your options. Expanding your search online will allow you to reach countless trained professionals outside the bounds of your immediate vicinity.
Inner Clarity has identified three effective approaches for steering any person striving to make the most out of Florida therapy services: define your preferences, use online resources, and schedule initial consultations.
Consider asking yourself what any therapist will eventually inquire: what do you hope to accomplish from counseling? A therapist can help arrive at a possible diagnosis, identify stress patterns, teach you various coping skills and ultimately create a safe space for you to negotiate your emotions. Pinpointing what part of your life you would like to address first will enable you to put your best foot forward.
What’s more, providers bring specialized experience in specific topics and in employing specific treatment techniques. Is it a “must have'' quality that your therapist is the same gender or offers Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? Seek those who you know you’ll feel comfortable with.
Once you have a sense of what you’d like to explore while in Florida therapy services, turn your attention to where you can apply your criteria. Online directories grant the ability to see a wide range of options all at once, with descriptions of therapists’ educational backgrounds, professional memberships, and personal approaches readily available.
Review platforms can also prevent you from wasting time with providers who are not part of reputable practices, or those outside of your insurance coverage. Therapists with decades of experience can extend insights that providers just starting out might not.
Finally, take heart in knowing you don’t have to commit to working with a therapist before meeting with them first. By scheduling initial consultation sessions, you can gain a sense of whether your personalities will gel for a trusting and productive professional relationship.
This is important because working with a therapist is a two-way street. Just as an initial consultation is a chance for you to ask relevant questions about a therapist’s treatment style, the provider will likely have a number of questions they’d like to ask you back in order to see if they agree you're good to schedule a follow-up appointment.
Despite what may appear as a challenging endeavor from the outside, investing time and effort into finding the right therapist for you will undoubtedly boost your position in your mental health journey. Don’t settle for just any provider when your mental health is a crucial part of everyday life.
If you’ve been delaying finding a therapist, take notes on what you’re looking forward to tackling, and consider contacting us today to schedule an initial consultation with Inner Clarity’s extensive team of counselors, who are prepared to provide Florida therapy services tailored to every individual.
Being a first responder is no easy job. If you are a first responder, or know someone who is, you know exactly what I am talking about. The average person’s worst day is considered just another day on the job for a first responder. First responders witness some of the most horrific things.
Being a first responder is no easy job. If you are a first responder, or know someone who is, you know exactly what I am talking about. The average person’s worst day is considered just another day on the job for a first responder. First responders witness some of the most horrific things and are expected to carry on with their lives as if nothing happened. The first responder culture is a unique one. They have a special bond to one another that “outsiders” may not completely understand since it is hard for them to fully grasp what a first responder goes through daily. First responders are made up of all different job titles and duties, including: firemen, law enforcement personal, paramedics, EMT, search and rescue, and even 911 operators. However, they all tend to say the same thing when responding to a tragedy – “I was just doing my job”. Although a heroic statement, this mindset can create a burden on a first responders mental health and overall wellbeing as it normalizes the trauma they experience. It is estimated that 30 percent of first responders develop behavioral health conditions during their time of service, including depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as compared with 20 percent in the general population as sited in the SAMSHA research bulletin (Abbot et al., 2015). Additionally, trauma is not the only hardship a first responder is known to endure. First responders are known to have the highest level of workplace burnout due to the stress relating to their job, as well as always being in a first responder role even when they are not working. First responders work long, difficult hours including holidays, causing them to be away from their families and loved ones. This contributes to burn out and feeling isolated or alone.
On a positive note, the culture surrounding first responders has been changing. In the past, many first responders would not seek mental health treatment due to the strong stigma of being considered “weak” if they seek out help to treat their trauma, or even talk to someone about what they have witnessed. In the past, many first responders were told to “suck it up” when faced with emotional hardship as it is just part of the job they signed up for. Fortunately, we are moving toward a more accepting world in which first responders feel more comfortable seeking treatment due to trusting mental health providers. Mental health providers have a natural ability to create a calm, open, and nonjudgmental environment for clients to share in. This is especially important for first responders. Many first responders may feel judged or untrustworthy toward a mental health provider as they are an “outsider” looking into their world. This trust is built on mental health providers becoming more educated about the life and culture of a first responder, and truly understanding why first responders partake in this line of work.
First responders benefit from mental health treatment as it gives them the opportunity to process what they have witnessed, as well as learn about how trauma affects their work, family life, health, and overall well-being. Mental health providers can provide first responders with the tools they need to process and cope with their trauma. In doing so, they become more knowledgeable regarding burnout and the importance of self-care to improve their mental health, allowing them to do their job to the best of their ability. Recently, more first responders are seeking treatment but sometimes lack encouragement and support. Encouraging a first responder to seek therapy and normalizing the need for treatment is extremely important. Support is the first step a first responder needs, leading to the confidence to seek treatment and improve their mental health and overall well-being.
Beginning your first year of college is filled with an abundant number of changes and emotions! It may feel like you are walking into the unknown.
Beginning your first year of college is filled with an abundant number of changes and emotions! It may feel like you are walking into the unknown. Here are a few things that might help you prepare for your first year.
1) Register for Classes as Soon as You Can
Don’t wait until the last minute when it comes to registering for classes each semester. If you wait, you may end up in a class you don’t enjoy for the next four months. Focus on being proactive when registering for classes.
2) Organization is Everything
Come up with your own system that can help you maintain some structure throughout each semester. For example, maybe invest in color coded folders and highlighters for important test dates and large assignments. Not only is it important to organize your schoolwork but organization within your dorm room is crucial too! Living in a clean and organized space will take some stress off of your plate.
3) Procrastination Will Be Your Biggest Enemy
Waiting to do your studying and schoolwork will add nothing but stress. Not only will getting your work done in a timely manner help you succeed, it will also decrease your stress levels and allow you to enjoy your new friends and dorm life.
4) Have A Routine for Everything
Having routines is something us humans thrive off of! A routine to follow for your morning/night schedule, your classes, exercise and chores will assist you with staying on track. PS: write down what you have to get done and cross it off when finished!
5) Your Syllabus is Your Best Friend
In every class each professor will give you a syllabus with important due dates. Everything that you see there you can write in your planner or in a safe place.
6) It’s OK to Not Know What You Want
Going into college, you may have an idea on what major you’d like to study. Or, you may have no idea, which is also ok. You might also decide to change your major. All of this is ok! You will find something you enjoy, even if it takes some exploration.
7) Develop a Relationship with Your Professors
Your professors are an asset to you. Ask questions and schedule meetings to discuss the lessons and the curriculum you’ve been taught. Go visit them during their office hours. This shows that you care about your grades and success in their class.
8) Know Everything Available to You
Find out what programs your college/university has to offer such as counseling and tutoring. Your college wants you to succeed and they have so many programs along the way to help.
9) Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
You are not expected to know it all. College is all about learning new things and if we don’t ask we may never know. Ask your professors and your peers questions, they are there to help. It could even help to form a study group. Remember…there is no such thing as a stupid question!
10) Make Time to Make a Phone Call
Going away to college is not only a big step for you but it also is for your family and friends from home. Social and familial support can decrease sadness and stress. When you can, make time to call and give updates.
11) Give Yourself a Break
College can be a large adjustment from high school. Make sure you give yourself breaks from studying and homework to eat or chat with friends. This is also a great way to provide your own self-care.
12) Plan Ahead of Time
Your schedule may consist of back-to-back classes which, can make it difficult to take a break (tip #11). The night before a big day make sure you have snacks, a drink, and a meal to take with you.
13) Consider an Early Internship
Participating in an internship will not only build your resume but it will show you a glimpse of what it will be like to work in that field. This experience can help you make decisions for what’s next.
14) Rent Versus Buying Textbooks
Textbooks can be expensive. Read over your syllabus and listen to your professor. They may provide you with advice on renting versus buying textbooks. When it comes to books in your major, they may be helpful to buy and keep for the future.
15) Put Yourself Out There
Get out, join clubs, meet people, make friends and make memories!
You are going to do great! Remember these 15 tips when you are feeling overwhelmed or making a decision. If you are experiencing any stress when it comes to starting or being at college, please call our intake line and we can assist you with this major life transition.
Being a teenager is far from easy. We all remember the self-doubt, peer pressure, mood swings, and let’s not forget about the hormones.
Being a teenager is far from easy. We all remember the self-doubt, peer pressure, mood swings, and let’s not forget about the hormones. Being stuck somewhere between a child and an adult can be a confusing time. As a parent, it can be even more confusing. The child that once came to you for everything now has a hard time speaking with you and communicating their needs and emotions. When a conversation does take place, it usually ends in a disagreement or a slammed door. Wondering if your child is alright and not knowing how to help can be frustrating, as well as scary, for a parent. If this sounds familiar, and you feel you are currently living this reality, let me share some information with you and talk about the benefits of teenagers receiving individual therapy.
A teenager can be seeking therapy for a number of reasons, such as: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, stress, feeling overwhelmed, behavioral problems, relationship related issues, or trauma. Despite the reason, when a teenager is involved in therapy, they will be able to receive mentoring and guidance in a private setting. Most of the time, teenagers find it difficult sharing their feelings with their parents, or any family member for that matter. As they are already feeling uncertain and insecure about their bodies and/or other aspects about themselves, adding feelings or emotions to the mix can tend to be overwhelming and frustrating. Having a safe, nonjudgmental place for them to share and open up can give them a sense of comfort and security.
Therapists are trained to be non-judgmental and create a calm and open environment for their clients to share in. They take on the role of being a trustworthy, non-pushy confidant and mentor to a teenager, who then becomes more of a person that a teenager can talk with who is non-biased and is able to stay calm and neutral during difficult discussions. Therapy can become a safe place for a teenager to explore their feelings and learn new ways to think and act.
Additionally, therapy can assist a family get through the teenage years as a team. Learning to communicate and validate one another’s feelings will do wonders for the family dynamic. Some would say the teenage years are the hardest years a family can face. With a teenager being involved in therapy, it will benefit the family as a whole and help with making their home more open, calm, and harmonious. Finding a therapist that works for you and your family is a unique journey, but with the right match, could be a life changing opportunity for everyone.
What if there was an easy way to practice meditation in a way that helps you focus, relax, and increase your aptitude for empathy and compassion?
What if there was an easy way to practice meditation in a way that helps you focus, relax, and increase your aptitude for empathy and compassion?
With just 4 sentences recited to yourself or out loud, you can begin a daily practice of METTA Meditation, a form of mindfulness meditation; proven to help reduce anxiety and depression and increase self compassion and enhance social connection.
If you are new to METTA, or any meditation practice, it’s important to remember to have patience with yourself as you begin a practice. Meditation of any form can feel difficult and overwhelming at first. It is through consistency of practice, that you begin to feel more at ease, more peace, and more openness within your heart.
METTA Meditation, also known as loving kindness meditation is a mindfulness practice that allows you to practice sending love to yourself, your friends and acquantencies, and even the difficult people in your life.
During a METTA Meditation practice, you recite the following statements to yourself and do your best to feel it in your heart as you do.
Various versions of METTA exist that all follow the same frame work of statements. It’s important to choose phrases that you connect with personally and worry less about the exact wording. The practice is meant to become very enjoyable, so choose the version that feels the best for you. (You can’t mess this up!)
When you sit for a seated moment to practice METTA, it is suggested to cycle through the phrases with the intention sent for the following people. (It may be helpful to visualize an image of the person you are sending loving kindness toward.)
As you find yourself in a moment of relaxation, begin your practice by going through the 4 statements above to yourself, someone you know, a neutral person in your life, and a difficult person in your life.
While you continue to practice METTA meditation, it is important to begin to connect with the feeling of the words in your heart as you recite them to yourself. Repeating phrases that are coupled with truly feeling the words in your heart is the true practice of loving kindness that allows you to open your heart and find sameness with every being on Earth.
Remember compassion and empathy are challenging to share with others if at first you don’t recognize these sentiments within yourself. That’s why the purpose of METTA Meditation is to cultivate a state of self compassion first, allowing you to find acceptance for you and eventually learn how to share that same level of compassion with all beings around you.
Meditation is a useful and proven tool to help you create more calm and love so you can find moments in peace within and share your ability to love with the world. It’s not always easy, and that’s exactly why it’s called a practice. Therefore, aim not for perfection, rather than the willingness to practice and the dedication to do so.
Meditation, Loving Kindness, and EMDR are just some of the many tools that the therapists at Inner Clarity utilize to help our clients reconnect with themselves and come to a state of acceptance in life. We are here to help you too so you can find peaceful moments as you ride the wave of this ever changing world. Book your first appointment now so you can create your inner clarity and find with giving and receiving kindness to all. SCHEDULE HERE
Becoming a mother. Whether it is for the first time or the tenth, becoming a mother is among the most profound experiences a woman can have in life.
Becoming a mother. Whether it is for the first time or the tenth, becoming a mother is among the most profound experiences a woman can have in life. Your tearful eyes meet those of your bright innocent little baby, and you are forever changed. Your heart, your mind, your very soul explodes with a heretofore unimagined love, a love beyond measure. As any mother can tell you, however, this tremendous flood of newfound love does not travel alone. A new baby is often accompanied by other feelings, many of which are both unanticipated and potent. Joy, fear, pain, sadness, jealousy, elation, embarrassment. It would certainly be fair to call this new group of emotions a bit of a mixed bag. It is then not surprising that some of what we held dear before baby’s arrival seems to be lost in that flood. Before we know it, somewhere in our transition to motherhood, we feel as though we have lost ourselves. Those “selves” we so completely identified with and served as our lens through which to interpret our world? Poof! Gone. Perhaps we look at an old picture or have a chat with a dear friend to reminisce. And a new, uncomfortable question presents itself. Where is that person now? Who am I now?
If this sounds familiar to you, know that you are not alone. In fact, you are one of a great many women who are accidentally left behind by their own mothering selves in the hectic, beautiful whirlwind that becomes daily life. The good news? You may have found your needs, along with your “self”, lost in the shuffle…but you’re still here. Always have been and always will be. The truth is you have simply been conditioned to believe in order to be a mother you must be as selfless as a martyr, absent of all personal needs and, naturally, to push through it all with a big smile on your face. Think about the concept of “self-less” for a moment. Who wants to live without a connection to themselves? Why should you have to? You can shed this conditioning and begin a healthier, more complete and more compassionate relationship with yourself. Becoming a mother does not mean you only exist for others. Here are some ideas on how you can re-establish your connection with “you”.
1. Say “Hi!” to you
Make it a point each day to remember that you are there. Whether it be a quick glance and a smile at yourself in the mirror in the morning, enjoying a hot cup of tea before the kids wake up, or offering yourself a positive “I” statement out loud in the shower, you can find small yet meaningful ways to remember, respect and connect with yourself throughout the day. You can even say “hi” out loud. Hear your own voice acknowledging you. No judgement. No agenda to follow. No schedule to recite. Just pure, simple recognition that you are the one existing in this moment. And you matter.
2. Take time to breathe…REALLY
We often hustle through life without thinking about what we are doing and why. This is a norm in our society. Busyness is celebrated. And with this “normal” way of life we inadvertently create abnormal circumstances for our bodies: we hold our breath. We (hopefully) don’t hold our breath until we pass out, but we do often inhale small, shallow breaths. Our exhales are minimal. We breathe to function, to survive, but not much else. In breathing this way, we remain disconnected from our bodies. To take a conscious, deliberate breath in WITH a purposeful, equally long (or longer!) breath out is to begin to heal and connect through breath work. Conscious breathing in this way provides a signal to the body that all is well. This in turn allows you to settle into your body more deeply and creates a space for peace and tranquility to come through. Ahhhhhhh…There you are!
3. Be a mother to yourself, too
Every mom has that mental checklist for their kids as they navigate the day. Did they eat? Do they have everything they need? Did they brush their teeth? Are they happy? Part of being an engaged parent is keeping our kids’ well-being as a priority and ensuring we look after them on every level. But what about ourselves? Did I eat? Do I have what I need for my day? Did I practice self-care today? Am I OK? Taking time for self-inquiry at least once each day can be an opportunity to acknowledge the beautiful, unique human being you are.
4. Give yourself reminders of the life you’ve lived…And are still living
Remember that playlist you and your college girlfriends always played when getting ready for a night out? Or that picture of you and your family cracking up at some mishap that became a classic memory? Remember the smell of Mom’s cookies baking or tomato sauce simmering as it would fill the air with the loving comforts of home? Things like music, old photos and familiar smells can reconnect us with our beautiful life story and remind us of the many layers of life. Just because we have entered a new phase it does not mean we have to let go of the nostalgic, fun and comforting memories we hold so dear. Take a moment to listen to those songs, look at those photos and bake those cookies. Let it all stir up those big feelings of excitement, gratitude and joy. Bring your past into the present with the intention of filling yourself with goodness. Remind yourself – you are still “you”.
5. You can take her with you…
You know those adorable nesting dolls? The ones where there is a large wooden doll that opens to show it is holding a smaller one inside, and then a smaller one, and another? Think of the nesting doll as symbolic of the self. We do not leave the little girl, the teenager, the twenty-something, etc. behind us. We take them all with us for the ride of our lifetime! They are, and always will be, a part of us…integrated and weaved into the person we continue to become. We can appreciate our youth without longing for it. We can move forward without feeling we are losing the past. We can pack it all up and take it with us. We can bring our inner child to play with our kids in the backyard. We can remind ourselves of our astounding resiliency through the eyes of our teenaged self, remembering all we survived. We can use all the strength and endurance that we have shown along the way as fuel to keep moving forward.
As you move through whatever phase of motherhood you are in, you owe it to yourself to remember the woman you are, respect her and practice nurturing her even as you do the same for your children. You will experience a deeper sense of joy, peace and compassion for yourself that will ultimately also benefit the relationships with others you hold dear to your heart. Just make sure to keep “you” close to your heart, too. Learn more about our services here.
Read about how forgiveness sets you free and can help you heal but making it a practice to benefit your own self growth can be very difficult from Inner Clarity.
Forgiveness. The word alone can make people cringe at the thought and shutter with resistance. It’s been said that forgiveness is not about accepting the actions of another that you are enraged about, rather, forgiveness is a tool to set yourself free from the mental torture of playback and thoughts that repeat a story that offends your boundaries.
Forgiveness is truly about restoring your emotional state by suggesting more positively feeling thoughts in place of where negative ones used to be when the thought of the offense arises.
It is within using this tool that one learns how to find acceptance and break the cycle of replaying scenarios, harboring resentment, and easing the burdens that all humans carry along their path.
While conceptually, forgiveness seems easy, actually making it a practice to benefit your own self growth can feel really, really tough.
Forgiveness is about learning to create empathy or compassion for the offense that occurred. This does not mean acceptance or creating a space that voids the perpetration.
It may feel really difficult to bring yourself to find feelings of forgiveness for the scenarios where you were wronged. If you have been harboring a perpetration for some time, your hold on to how you’ve been offended may feel tough to edge in a bit of forgiveness.
Many people believe that not forgiving is a form of punishment that should be upheld. The belief is that if ‘I am angry then they are suffering.’ But the truth is that anger only harms the person it lives within. It’s also important to understand that forgiveness does not mean acceptance. It does not excuse behavior of mistreatment or any actions which have crossed your personal boundaries. In truth, forgiveness is an opportunity to reaffirm the boundaries that keep you safe and create more moments of tranquility in your head and your heart.
So what does practicing forgiveness actually look like?
Think of forgiveness as a muscle. The more you begin to utilize it, the more your ability to find peace with it expands. It’s best to begin slowly and consciously. As with your physical muscles, your ability to find moments of forgiveness, ultimately leading to more personal moments of freedom from negative thought, will grow with practice.
How to begin:
Take a deep breath. Resistance easily creeps in when forgiveness begins to emerge. Remember, forgiveness allows you to rewrite your inner monologue so that it includes more peaceful moments within.
Remember forgiveness begins when empathy and compassion can be formed.
In order to start your practice, try to view the scenario with that in mind. Are you able to find some empathy for what has occurred? Compassion and empathy, even the tiniest bit, can offer a small shift in perspective so that human connection can spark.
If creating space for compassion and empathy for the scenario are out of the question it may be helpful instead to turn that empathy inward. Perhaps assigning meaning to your suffering may help you cultivate more compassion for yourself. It may even be helpful to picture yourself standing in front of yourself and embracing the vision of you in an all accepting hug.
Call in support and surround yourself with forgiving people. Begin to recognize forgiveness in others and align yourself with those who can support an attitude of growth rather than energy of bitterness.
As you begin your practice of forgiveness you will notice that more moments to practice arise. Consider this an opportunity to make a small shift in your thought. The more you practice the ability to find forgiveness through empathy and compassion with little things, the more you will notice that your happiness will increase.
Forgiveness is not acceptance. It’s merely a chance to shift what’s in your own head and heart so you can free yourself of thoughts that incite unfavorable feelings within.
Creating states of empathy can help reconnect with compassion for yourself and others that will ultimately help to create more moments of perspective. Ultimately, forgiveness is a tool to free yourself of the burdens that are carried when there is an interference with your internal peace.
Ready to begin to share your story so you can create more peace in your life? Reaching out to a therapist is a great way to find more moments of joy for yourself. It’s a process, and we are here to help. Book your first appointment HERE.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is diagnosed in the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) by symptoms of depression that begin in the winter and remit in the spring.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is diagnosed in the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) by symptoms of depression that begin in the winter and remit in the spring, requiring at least 2 seasonal depressive episodes over the last 2 years. SAD can cause significant distress that impairs your ability to perform normal daily activities such as engaging in school, work, or hobbies. One in twenty people in the US experience SAD, and it is more common among women.
Many of us feel the winter blues without meeting the full diagnostic criteria for SAD. The short days and cold weather can make us feel fatigued, unmotivated, and gloomy. Even if it isn’t as severe as SAD, the winter blues can dampen our disposition and prevent us from feeling like our best selves.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone! Here are some tips to combat SAD and the “winter blues”:
1. Maintain a consistent sleep cycle that aligns with daylight hours. Wake up when the sun comes up. Experience as much of the daylight hours as you can. And try to get to bed early to ensure you get sufficient sleep.
2. A better diet means more energy and a better mood to accomplish daily tasks. Adjust your diet to include less junk food and more whole foods. You are what you eat, so prioritize fresh produce and well-balanced meals. You’ll feel proud for prioritizing self-care in a necessary part of your day.
3. Incorporate regular exercise into your week. Humans were not designed to sit all day long. Exercise can help regulate mood, facilitate digestion, and promote more restful sleep. To keep yourself accountable, schedule your workouts at specific times of the week with a particular workout in mind. You can also work out with a friend virtually, or in person outdoors with masks. Some great options include weightlifting, bodyweight exercises, Pilates, yoga, running, or a brisk walk.
4. Schedule a hobby into your daily life, even if just for 15 minutes. This forces you to focus on yourself and feed your soul with activities that make you feel like your best self. That natural dopamine hit is good for you!
5. Create a sunny indoor environment. If you work from home, move your desk to the window, preferably south-facing if you’re in the northern hemisphere.
6. Take Vitamin D supplements. Vitamin D has been shown to help regulate mood. Vitamin D is made by our skin, but short days and limited time outside prevents us from getting our usual solar dose. You cannot make Vitamin D from sunlight shining through glass windows, unfortunately, so direct sunlight is important.
7. Spend time outside. This expands on the prior point. Breathe the crisp fresh air and feel the sun’s direct rays. An outdoor walk or even coffee on the porch should help. It’s also good to break the cycle of staring at walls, especially if you work from home. Staying in the house for days on end can mess with your perception of time and make you feel like you’re unproductive, in a rut, or boring.
8. Create additional light sources after sunset. Get a light therapy box to reactivate those light-seeking areas of the brain. At minimum, candles can help create a warm and cozy living space.
9. Take time out of your day to call or video chat with a friend, loved one, or therapist. We are social animals, even those of us who are introverts. Human connection can relieve anxiety, remind us that we’re not alone in our winter blues, and allow us to talk and think about other things. This helps us get out of a repetitive negative headspace.
10. Write down positive experiences and things you’re grateful for. This will encourage you to practice healthy levels of optimism, which can influence your mood for the rest of the day.
11. Buy a plant and thrive together. Organisms need sunlight. If your photosynthesizer can get through the winter, so can you. This also gives you someone to take care of other than yourself.
12. Look on the bright side of winter. Get excited for the post-snow glow, when the sun finally comes out and reflects off every snow-covered surface. The light will fill your house!
13. Create a ritual to look forward to at sunset. Maybe make tea, or light incense, or stretch on the floor. This creates a positive association with nightfall, and can make it feel like less of an “end” and more like a transition.
14. Leave the house, even if it’s already dark. Seeing other people at the store will remind you that it’s still daytime. It will help normalize doing daytime/evening activities despite the early sunset.
Make a conscious effort to try some of these tips as a self-care pursuit. Your health comes first, and everything else is influenced by your mood, perspective, energy, and wellness.
If you’re concerned you may have SAD, share your concerns with a therapist, psychologist/psychiatrist, or family doctor. You may benefit from antidepressants or other treatments in combination with the above lifestyle changes. Click here to find out more about how the therapists at Inner Clarity can help.
We have all heard clients use this phrase in sessions. They, like us, can describe themselves using "parts" language.
We have all heard clients use this phrase in sessions. They, like us, can describe themselves using “parts” language. Something like this may sound familiar, “A part of me wants to do this but another part of me wants to do that.” Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a model of therapy that helps clients to develop relationships with their various parts in a way that feels integrative, healthy, and clear, thereby alleviating the symptoms causing them distress. There are many “parts” to this model, but for this blog’s purposes, I will help illustrate how to utilize IFS language in a clinical encounter and also speak to the conceptual nature of this model that serves as its foundation.
Parts
Parts are categorized into “firefighters”, “managers”, and “exiles” to help categorize their function in the client’s system. A firefighter is a protector part that acts swiftly, quickly, and intensely to help manage a situation that feels overwhelming or too scary. For example, a firefighter part may tell a client to drink alcohol excessively to avoid something too big, too much. A manager part (also a protector) may tell a client to work excessive hours at his job to help manage the uncomfortable feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, grief, etc. An exile is a part that typically has gone “underground” for a significant period of time due to the pain, shame, or fear it once experienced at an earlier time, and the manager and firefighters have come on the scene to help protect these exiles from ever having to feel that pain again.
You might be wondering at this point how this model of therapy can help with the many issues clients bring to therapy. IFS therapists devote a lot of time helping clients appreciate the positive intentions of these protector parts in their systems. These parts are very used to feeling shamed, criticized, or “bad” for how they go about protecting the client from feeling pain. We help clients develop a new relationship to these parts that feels more accepting, nurturing, and understanding. This relational shift opens an opportunity for these parts to change roles in the client’s system. A firefighter part who tells a client she has to binge eat in order to avoid an aversive feeling or to possibly feel more control in an overwhelming situation, will inevitably feel the freedom to support the client in more adaptive, healthy ways. However, first, this part has to feel the freedom to shift into its new role, and that comes with the confidence that the client can handle life’s circumstances on her own.
Curiosity
Where to begin you may ask? Well, curiosity is a great access point to making contact with these protector parts in non-judgmental, open, accepting ways to help understand their positive intentions. It’s remarkable how these parts reveal their concerns, beliefs, and worries when approached with open curiosity. They sense the spaciousness the curious energy brings with it and can rest in the awareness of new possibilities. This awareness serves to soften its edges. The softening of the edges and dampening down of the intensity of these protectors allows for the space to trust the client’s Self Energy. Once trust is established between these protectors and the client’s Self, the IFS therapist works to expand this Self Energy as it’s energy knows no bounds.
Self Energy
In the IFS model, Self is energy we all possess. It comprises of curiosity, compassion, courage, clarity, confidence, connection, calm, and creativity. This is the energy we can bring to our protector parts who play their respective roles only with the intention to help and protect, always with unintended consequences. Think of the person who tends to criticize or shame himself before someone else does or the person who incessantly stays busy to feel competent or in control. These are protectors doing their due diligence so intolerable pain and vulnerability can be thwarted. An IFS therapist will help orient the client toward this Self Energy before nearing toward the exiles, or old wounded parts of the client. This is where trauma resides, frozen in time, fiercely protected by Protectors.
Final Thoughts
There are additional stages to this model such as the Witnessing and Unburdening stages which carry with them their own techniques for trauma reprocessing and/or symptom relief. However, I honed in on the aspects of curiosity and Self Energy to illuminate the transformative, resourceful energy we all possess and how to see our individual protector parts more clearly for all their positive intentions. I find this aspect of the model to be so crucial because it offers hope and compassion, and orients our clients to a path forward out of their pain.
Stephanie Carpizo, LPC is trained in the IFS model and currently taking new clients through Telehealth.
Please call 732 639 0232 to schedule an appointment, or click here to schedule.
In relationships, one of the hardest skills to master is healthy and effective communication. Realistically, we might not be able to completely eliminate...
“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity”- Nat Turner
In relationships, one of the hardest skills to master is healthy and effective communication. Realistically, we might not be able to completely eliminate disagreements and misunderstandings from our day to day life, but applying communication techniques could potentially increase connectedness as well as create a safe emotional environment for both partners.
The following are some skills that we can use when communicating with our partners-
There are many different effective ways that couples can communicate. Through rituals and healthy habits we are able to create connections that we can count on. By using some of these skills, we can help to increase healthy interactions and reconnect during a time filled with uncertainty and stress. Do you think couples therapy would be helpful for your relationship? We can help. Click here to connect to Charlene’s page.
Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self-esteem and self-worth...
Are you someone who struggles with self love, self esteem, or self worth?
By definition Self Worth means “ an individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration.” (APA Dictionary Definition)
Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self esteem and self worth, chances are you’d wish this level of self love for them too. Yet for too many, self worth has been muted and minimized for so long that at this stage in the game, it can feel nearly impossible to build it back up.
The truth is, all humans deserve to feel loved, worthy, and capable. So, if along the way, you adapted a belief that you are not; the following advice will help to bring awareness to your thoughts so that you can begin to make small shifts toward massive amounts of worthiness for your uniquely perfect, amazing self.
Happiness is the birth right of every human being.
Every single person deserves love. It is your right to feel good about yourself and create your own version of personal happiness. It’s not selfish to command a high sense of self-worth or to feel fulfilled and content in your life. If fact, feeling good about yourself is the most selfless act to take. It is within loving yourself and your own unique quirks that you are able to create more compassion and empathy for the imperfection in others around you.
Still struggling to appreciate your inner awesomeness? Here are some quick tips to begin to tune in and gently shift your dialogue to one that encourages more love, compassion, and forgiveness for your number one….YOU!
By beginning to tally when your inner critic says nice things about you versus when that inner voice attacks your desires, actions, and abilities you will begin to notice the programming within.
The Golden Opportunity – The more you begin to recognize your inner critic that emerges as judgment of yourself, the more you can learn to shift to a better thinking thought that may begin to allow you to build yourself up, rather than tear yourself down.
As you recognize a belief about yourself that makes you feel poorly, remember that you are a human being who is doing their best. Hold the belief tightly that you are doing your best. And within that, that you are deserving of feeling like enough and knowing that you are giving your absolute best. No matter what the circumstance, what you are able to give moment to moment is always enough.
In today’s comparison driven culture, it can be difficult (and often feel downright uncomfortable) to pat yourself on the back. But the truth is, you deserve daily accolades – so don’t be shy about taking them!
Find more ways to give yourself credit for being amazing!
Find comfort in allowing these things to be enough and pat yourself on the back for getting through the day.
After all,
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss
Also, you rock…remind yourself more often.
Surround yourself with people that allow you to feel good about yourself.
Find a community online, a trusted person in your family or circle of friends where you feel secure to feel good about yourself.
Remind yourself why you deserve reciprocated love and friendships.
Exercise, craft, write, or sing.
Be creative and allow your emotions place and space to move.
Your definition of feeling good is not open to anyone else’s opinion. The more you continuously make deliberate choices that help you to feel good about YOU, the more you will find that taking a stand in the pool of self worth is truly where you’d like to be.
Listen, human beings are not meant to be perfect. In fact, you can spend your entire life trying to find one (a perfect human) only to recognize that every single being is riddled with imperfection.
It is not the perfection that creates an amazing human, rather the imperfection held by all that create uniqueness, quirks, and the specialness that makes you, you.
Your uniqueness is what makes you incredible! Spending time to embrace it helps to elevate your personal sense of self.
By creating more awareness around your sense of self worth, you continue to shine light on what is working for you, and what needs to be redefined so that you progress toward more of owning your inner awesomeness.
Struggling with Self Worth but deep down know that life is meant to feel good?
At Inner Clarity our therapists work with you to help unpack your inner dialogue and create steps toward success so you can love yourself more, feel good inside, and know that in every moment, you are good enough.
Ready to learn how to find more personal love for you? We are here to help.
Did 2020 mess with your goals? Thank goodness another New Year is on it’s way! Many people are inspired by big goals and use this time of year to assess their desires.
Did 2020 mess with your goals? Thank goodness another New Year is on it’s way!
Many people are inspired by big goals and use this time of year to assess their desires. Yet the ability to take action and remain consistent as you work toward accomplishing goals can be daunting…especially in the face of adversary and uncertainty.
The only constant in life is change, a la 2020, so learning to become more resilient in order to create more personal accountability is necessary to achieve your personal successes while learning to live riding the waves of life.
As the reveal of the new year gives you moments to reflect on what you’d like to achieve over the next 12 months, the truth is, in order for you to find success with any goal, it needs to feel electrifying!
Excitement and Belief
Your level of excitement is a huge factor in your ability to achieve. Too much excitement can cause unnecessary pressure that has many jumping ship when the windy path toward success feels tough. Too little excitement and you’re likely to exchange your goal for that last piece of chocolate cake that’s been calling your name.
Excitement is in direct proportion to your level of belief and actualization.
In order to achieve, you first have to believe you are capable of it. Want to lose 50 pounds? Ready to reconnect relationships? Looking to start a business and take your career to the next level?
All of this is possible….as long as you believe it to be.
Your success on any goal correlates your belief that it can or can not happen. The more you see yourself on achievement alley, the more you will align your choices to help get you there.
Keep a Promise to Yourself
Why does it feel so hard to stay consistent to yourself but easier to stay accountable to others?
As a rule, let’s begin to understand that when you make a promise to yourself, or set a goal, it is because you believe it is for your own good. Yet, when the going gets tough, even convinced it’s for your best life, throwing in the towel happens more easily than you’d like.
This does not mean that you are not good enough to stick to what you say. This is not a matter of productivity vs laziness.
The truth is, you lack integrity to yourself. Yup, that’s right…when you say you are going to do something, and then don’t, it’s not because you can’t achieve physically…..it’s because you accept lying to yourself more than you should.
See, you’ve been conditioned to not bring disappointment to others. The social stigma of letting another down is ingrained in many people throughout their childhood and easily translates into adult living.
This is exactly why people show up, work harder, and stay more committed, when working with a personal trainer, business coach, or accountability partner.
You are also used to working toward someone else’s expectation of you. That’s why you work harder when accountability is around.
In the same breath, you are used to giving up on you, that’s exactly why you do that too.
So how can you up your personal integrity while keeping the promise of working toward a goal for yourself?
Start with making your goal non-negotiable.
Then, work daily through committing to small tasks and completing them.
Day in and day out, you will begin to find that there is nothing more gratifying than sticking to something you say you are going to do for you.
Achieve Mini Goals
Along your path of progress, it is important to set up mini goals and celebrations. Mini goals are daily or weekly accomplishments that bring you closer to your overall dream.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and mountains aren’t scaled by one giant leap. Step by step and brick by brick is the exact way to get you from where you are to where you know you are meant to be.
Don’t forget to celebrate your milestones along the way!
Bringing it all together
Achievement and Success are yours for the taking. Working to enhance your level of excitement and accomplishing manageable, daily tasks are all parts of keeping a promise to yourself.
As you continue to raise your personal integrity you will realize that success is imminent and worthy in your life. Everything that you dream of for your highest good is achievable. Keep going!
At Inner Clarity, our therapists are trained to help you recognize your patterns and learn to work in a way that brings you more personal fulfillment, achievement, and success. Together, we work so you feel guided toward uncovering how to live your best life and keep promises to yourself. Ready to make the next year your best year? Schedule an appointment HERE.
It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.
Dear Mothers,
It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.
Or don’t you?
Many Mothers believe that Holidays don’t happen, unless they work hard, create an enchanting setting, and practice perfectionism so that their children can create memories worth sharing. In order to make this happen, too many women sacrifice their mental well being, financial stability, and time management in order to go over and above the role of Mom/Santa/Gift Giver Extraordinaire.
The truth is, creating memories that last a lifetime doesn’t need to require you to feel burnt out, exhausted, and appreciated less than you’d like. Running yourself ragged this time of year can lead to melt downs, resentment, and complete and utter exhaustion.
You can still make incredible memories with your family by doing what you love, setting appropriate boundaries with your energy (mental, emotional, and financial), and taking moments to pause to truly appreciate the gifts of the year.
2020 is different. The desire to create fascinating experiences for your children to remember forever is still strong. However the ability to make that happen through external sources, pictures with Santa, memories around the menorah and kinara, and outside family traditions have changed. Yet that doesn’t mean you have to find new ways to take yourself down to zero in order to provide your children with love, special moments, and sacred family togetherness.
So how do you create magical moments without driving yourself to the brink of resentment for the 2020 Holiday season?
Here are quick and easy tips to create a holiday of connection, without losing your cool and learning to revel in the specialness of this time of year.
Mama, you are the magic that moves every season, and never is that more true than now. Remember, the extraordinary excitement of this time of year is more enjoyable when you practice the pause and enjoy what is already around you. The most important memories are made not when doing things, but by being present and learning to do more of the things that help you to feel calm, joyful, and surrounded by love.
Are you experiencing burn-out due to the stress of the Holidays in 2020? Learn to navigate your expectations, overwhelm, and anxiety so that you can feel aware, present, and enjoy the Holidays this year and every year. You are in control of your emotions. Learn how to work with them and feel satisfied in your life more often. Find out more about seeking professional support HERE.
The most magical adventures can be the most challenging to make tangible.
The most magical adventures can be the most challenging to make tangible. Such is the scientific studies on gratitude and its ability to bring its user increased happiness and decreased depression.
While most people have an instinctive understanding of what gratitude is, it can be very difficult to define. It’s that time of year where everyone seems to begin to focus more on what they are grateful for, and 2020 has shown us simply how necessary it is to find gratitude for one’s own physical health.
It has been said that regular shifts toward gratitude have the ability to heal, balance, and regulate negativity from a person’s life. Since life nowadays may feel without control and filled with concern, creating moments of thanks are essential to put it all in perspective.
Many studies over the past two decades have concluded that people who practice gratitude tend to be happier and less depressed. In fact, research supports the claim that gratitude is ‘the greatest virtue’ and furthermore ‘the mother of all other remaining virtues.’
Gratitude works to help improve all aspects of health.
(Access incredible research and learn more about the studies cited HERE)
As a practice, gratitude doesn’t require much. However, if you feel like you could use some inspiration to cultivate more gratitude in your life, here are some quick tips to make it a daily and regular feel-good routine:
When it comes to gratitude, the fun is in the freedom! Don’t overcomplicate it. While gratitude can be beautifully expressed through actions like writing in a journal, or through hymns and prayers, practicing gratitude is really as simple as sitting with one conscious grateful thought at a time.
Tapping in to your personal feelings of joy, contentment, and regularly finding reasons to rejoice in your life will turn the key towards happiness.
One mindful thought about what is going good in your life can be all you need to transform your mood, realign yourself with the positives, and help you to shift perspective toward all the greatness in your life.
Ready to learn how to tap into the power of your personal gratitude? Visit Inner Clarity today to book an appointment with a Therapist who will help you sift through the moments of your truth so you can lean into focusing on what feels good. Find out more about how we can help!
As 2020 begins to wind down, many are looking toward the Holiday season to bring in a much needed cheer in the world.
As 2020 begins to wind down, many are looking toward the Holiday season to bring in a much needed cheer in the world. But for all too many, approaching Holidays means dealing with loss again, or due to 2020, for the very first time.
Grief looks different this year. It may not only be due to loss of a human close to your heart, grief now abounds in the form of loneliness, separation, social anxiety, and mourning for an older sense of ‘normal.’
As with any occasion that makes you think of togetherness, this upcoming season can be a time of deep contemplation and revisiting the ever fluctuating stages of grief.
If you are experiencing grief this time of year, or any time of year, you are not alone. And while your grief may manifest differently throughout the impending season, know that your feelings are real, valid, and here to be felt.
When you, or your children, encounter moments when it feels too strong to bear, here are some helpful ways to allow yourself to feel while gently encouraging yourself to continue to make a connection with those you have lost and love the most:
Perhaps you are already busy and you are finding that more and more you are distracted by your grief; it keeps you on the couch or pins you to the bed despite all the work you have to get done.
If this is the case, take time to feel your feelings. Be honest with yourself and with those who depend on you.
When it feels right, you can visualize yourself placing overwhelming thoughts on a shelf momentarily. This may allow you the space to work toward your goals with work, home, and additional responsibilities, knowing that you can come back to your feelings and space on the shelf, when you are ready to be done.
Grief is not linear. There is no one road that leads to processing it faster, more quickly, or with ease. In fact, if you do, you may miss out on valuable healing that awaits.
Feelings are here for you to be felt. Sadness, as overwhelming as it feels at times, is a reminder that love once existed in it’s space.
If this year has shown you anything, it’s that you matter, your feelings matter, and health is the most valuable resource on the planet.
Are you experiencing grief this time of year? InnerClarity offers guidance in working with your grief so that you can find moments of joy as you learn to navigate the intensity of your emotions. You don’t have to go through it alone. Schedule a consultation today.
With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.
With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.
After years of couples finding a groove that works best for them, marriages have been flipped on their head as many now are learning to share more space, spend more time, and navigate the additional stress brought on by quarantines, virtual school, and the fear of falling behind on bills or ill.
Faced with an unprecedented amount of emotional and financial strain, more and more couples are considering divorce as an option to preserve their happiness and their sense of self.
The truth is, not all marriages are meant to last forever. And with the abundance of time many people have now, more and more are making the courageous choice to put their personal happiness above the institution of marriage.
However, if you’re looking to strengthen your relationship during this time, hope has not been lost!
While the increase in togetherness may be tough at moments, here are some ways to Quarantine Proof your Marriage so that you can remain in the committed relationship you enjoy:
The therapists at Inner Clarity are here for you and your partner. We work with you to uncover your needs, help you to feel peace in your relationships, and work to help you take steps toward your personal happiness. Experiencing troubles in your marriage? Book your appointment HERE
Important to note: While many marriages seal their bond and find togetherness during stressful times, many others can become tumultuous.
If you are experiencing domestic violence which includes physical, emotional, and mental/spiritual abuse please call the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline for immediate assistance: New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline
1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)
It's that time of year again for parents (whether your children are having virtual or in-person experiences)!
It’s that time of year again for parents (whether your children are having virtual or in-person experiences)! This year, of course, poses more questions and uncertainties than previous years due to the ongoing effect of COVID-19 on our personal lives, families, and surrounding communities. Suffice to say, we are all experiencing different levels of anxiety due to the uncertain nature of our lives at the moment. As a parent to young children, I have been reflecting on my own stress levels due to the current circumstances, and have been more intentional in tracking the shifts from “good” stress to “bad” stress and how these shifts impact my parenting.
Good stress is motivating and provides just enough arousal to move us towards our goals. Bad stress exceeds our window of tolerance, a term typically used to describe the zone of arousal in which a person is able to function most effectively. This can happen either because the stress is too overwhelming and going on for too long or our window of tolerance is too narrow or both issues may be at play simultaneously!
This pandemic has been such a destabilizing force for individuals, families, and communities for a myriad of social, political, and economic reasons. We humans like certainty and end-points at the end of the tunnel to help us make meaning out of situations and find solutions to move us forward. Whether your kids are learning from home or back at school, the ongoing uncertainty and ambiguous end point to everything COVID-19 related remains front and center in our minds.
When stress is front and center and begins to overstay its welcome, it has the capacity to wreak havoc on our bodies and minds. When we parent from a place of stress and/or fear, we become rigid, inflexible, and controlling to install some sense of safety into our systems for calming, most of which is happening out of our awareness. And this is where the work begins. It is too easy to direct our frustration towards our children who, let’s face it, are easy targets. They will rebel, test boundaries, make poor judgement calls, spill the milk we just bought, you get the idea! They have the ability to set up a minefield of triggers for us to step into setting off a pattern of reactivity that tends to be contagious. This generates a cycle of more impulsive reactivity in relation to each other which will inevitably spill out into their school lives and friend relationships. What to do?
Step 1: Respond rather than react
First, notice the initial tendency to look outwards for the reason for your stress. This is a reactive response to a trigger. This typically looks like blaming behaviors or having a level 10 reaction to an issue that maybe warranted a level 3 reaction? The act of looking for external reasons for our stress or anger or turmoil is actually a very natural reaction (it hurts to notice our own inadequacies), so try and offer yourself some reassurance during this process instead of judgement. It is through this process of slowing down enough to notice your reactivity that you will develop a more effective response to your trigger.
Step 2: The Mindful Pause
The awareness of responding vs. reacting leads us to step two, (which I think is the hardest part). Step two involves the “pause” we hear so much about in mindfulness training and actually is difficult to put into practice if you’re chronically stressed, or as some of my clients like to say, “revved up.” I like to insert some body awareness into this step which can look like following your breath during this pause or allowing yourself to feel the ground beneath your feet as you count your breaths. If you need more sensory input, this can look like running cold water over your hands or face or utilizing your favorite smell or music to shift your attention. The good news is that urges really do pass quickly when we open up the space to actually feel them and allow them to pass.
Step 3: Choose your Choice
Lastly, make a different choice, do something different, say something different, go somewhere different, you get the point! Victor Frankl famously said, “Between the stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” Give yourself the space to choose the most effective response in that moment and in that day with your child and your child’s response will mirror your own. It might (and probably will) take several tries (or more) to undo an ongoing pattern of unhealthy reactivity, but as I tell my kids, just keep trying. Each time you will learn something new. And this is how we will get through this unprecedented time, together.
We are here to get through this together and it is important to know that you do not have to cope through this alone. Click Here to find out more about the services we offer and request an appointment with one of our highly skilled therapists
Read about dealing with toxic family members including things to remember like surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good from Inner Clarity.
Family – the relationships you don’t get to choose.
Dealing with family can be difficult. In fact, for some…it can become downright abusive.
For many people, dealing with family means dealing with control, emotional abuse, and constant criticism. Not all human beings are capable of exhibiting love in a way that makes another feel heard, respected, and cared for. When this happens, it’s important to know – it is NOT your fault.
Knowing how to approach these delicate relationships, sometimes with the very people who raised you, can be really challenging and painful. But gaining an understanding about how your life can be distanced from theirs in a way that feels most supportive for you is important.
The truth is, You deserve to be happy.
And if your family is a major cause of your depression, self deprecation, or why you always feel stuck, it may be worth examining effective ways to deal with toxic members of your clan.
The most important rule to your personal happiness is to do whatever it takes to surround yourself with people who help you feel good. This may not always be people bonded to you by blood, even if they have raised you.
Here are some important things to remember when dealing with toxic family members:
But if it’s right for you, you can become a Mother or Father and experience family in a completely new way. You can choose love, openness, and acceptance. And this new creation..the family you choose..can begin to help heal the holes left by the first.
You can choose friends who become family. These relationships too can be committed by love, respect, and a desire for closeness.
You can create the family you choose. And you can choose to be bonded by unconditional love.
Remember, when it comes to your family – no one knows what you have experienced but you.
So no one gets to decide what and how it is best to interact with your family, but you.
You have one life to live and that life deserves happiness, joy, and love.
Take action to free yourself from family that no longer helps you move toward the goal of happiness.
Relinquish judgement of yourself and others.
And know that you are never alone.
At Inner Clarity our therapists are trained to help individuals navigate the intricacies of sticky family dynamics. These relationships can be emotional and difficult to untangle on one’s own. If you are looking for a supportive Therapist who can help you undo the web of a no-longer working family dynamic, schedule your appointment today. Gain Clarity HERE.
Have you been wondering why social distancing has been such a challenging transition for so many of us? It’s because we are inherently social beings, relying on social connection for survival, learning, evolving and positive feelings.
Have you been wondering why social distancing has been such a challenging transition for so many of us? It’s because we are inherently social beings, relying on social connection for survival, learning, evolving and positive feelings.
It’s true that social connections foster better mental and physical health. According to an article published in 2007, social supports increase our ability to manage stress. In addition to that, the article states that we are more likely to experience more positive feelings, releasing “happy hormones” such as Oxytocin, when we are engaged with our social supports and social networks. (Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., et.al, 2007). In addition to feeling happier, we are more likely to find motivation from our peers. This may be committing to activities together that will foster better health.
When we feel connected to others, we experience a stronger sense of purpose, have stronger self-esteem and have more opportunity to build on these relationships. Here are some ways to stay connected during this pandemic:
Citations
Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont (Pa. : Township)), 4(5), 35–40.
What is the purpose of positive thinking? Well, for one, focussing on affirmative thoughts such as ‘everything is always working out for me,’ and ‘today is a great day,’ feel good inside.
What is the purpose of positive thinking?
Well, for one, focussing on affirmative thoughts such as ‘everything is always working out for me,’ and ‘today is a great day,’ feel good inside.
But what if thinking positive thoughts actually did change your life completely?
By now you may have heard of the book, The Secret. (if not, get it or watch the movie on Netflix) The Secret reveals the science behind positive thinking and how exactly it can help to shift your life and move you toward a reality filled with feeling great, embracing what’s next, and knowing that you are supported to live your best life now using the Law of Attraction.
So how does the Law of Attraction work?
Simply put, the Law of Attraction states that what you focus on is what you attract.
What you continuously give your attention and energy to is how your reality is created.
So, if you constantly focus on things that are going wrong, you will be met by more instances where things are going wrong.
Adversely, if you shift your attention to things that feel good, you will continue to be placed in moments to feel good.
The two main factors in understanding the Law of Attraction are belief and intention.
Belief:
In order for the Law of Attraction to work to your benefit, you have to believe completely in what you are focusing on. If you believe that ‘today is a great day,’ state it, believe it, and own it completely. Then, you will be presented with more and more reasons that validate your belief ‘today is a great day.’ Perhaps someone pays for your coffee at the drive through. Maybe you have no traffic on the work. Or maybe you simply smile and recognize all of your personal reasons to feel grateful today.
On the contrary:
Your thoughts are powerful!
If you attempt the belief: ‘today is a great day,’ and immediately follow that with the thought ‘except when I get to work, I’m really not looking forward to meeting with my boss.’ Then, the Law of Attraction is going to meet you exactly where your belief stands.
You may get to work, meet with your boss, be put into a bad mood, focus on feeling angry, and then continue to witness unfortunate circumstances come your way.
The Law of Attraction did not fail, you didn’t really believe that ‘today is going to be a good day.’
You may have thought it momentarily, but one positive affirmation will not negate the true belief inside of you. The belief in the ‘bad moment with your boss,’ was stronger than the belief for a great day. The Law of Attraction meets you always by your actual belief.
Intention:
All energy follows intention. This means that your thoughts go deeper than surface level.
And the Law of Attraction works only when the intention behind each of your thoughts are for the highest good for all.
For example:
Let’s say you really want a promotion at work so that you can get a raise, feel stable with your household bills, and get recognition from your job for doing great work.
If you work to focus on the promotion, and more so – how you will feel when you are called in to the office as you receive the promotion from your boss, what it feels like to pay all your bills on time, and the feeling of accomplishment – you will be using the Law of Attraction to your benefit and help to bring the promotion closer to your truth.
Now, let’s assume that deep down, you have thought about wanting this promotion so that Sally from HR will feel badly because she wasn’t promoted. Maybe deep down you’re excited that she’ll be upset and have to do extra work as she watches you climb higher in the corporate ladder.
If this is the case, then it’s important to recognize that your intention is not aligned with the highest good for all.
So, even if you focus on the promotion, the Law of Attraction will not work to bring it to you quickly because your desire is also aligned with someone else’s suffering.
How to Use it:
A simple way to begin using the Law of Attraction today is by adapting the belief that
‘Everything is always working out for me.’
> That means, even when reality is showing you otherwise (a job you didn’t get, a relationship lost) you feel grounded and secure that these things happened because they weren’t truly for your best benefit.
> Believing that everything is always working out for you will help to shift your mind toward an openness for great things coming your way!
> This quote gives you a great chance to become more aware of the true beliefs and intentions that come up for you when you say it. Understanding the hidden or limiting beliefs that come up around this statement are an essential stepping stone to understanding what has stepped in your way and how to clear it so that you can harness the Law of Attraction for your benefit.
> It will build resiliency in the face of adversity.
> Declaring daily that ‘everything is always working out for me’ aligns your emotions to the feelings of things working out for you.
> When you work to adapt and understand that everything is always working out for you, you welcome in the benefit of believing it is.
The Law of Attraction is an evidence based energetic principle that shares with you that focusing on feeling good will bring more opportunities to feel good your way.
Wondering if it’s worth it to begin to shift your thoughts and feelings to align with more good feelings coming your way? The therapists at InnerClarity, LLC in Hazlet, NJ work with energetic laws such as Law of Attraction so that our clients learn to focus on intention and become aware of the hidden thoughts that stand in their way. At InnerClarity, we believe that your life deserves to feel great. And we work together so that you can create a way of getting there that is in true alignment with what is best for you. Ready to speak to one of our professionals? BOOK YOUR CONSULTATION NOW
Back to School - It’s that time! Summer is quickly dwindling to an end and your parental decision about how to approach your child’s education needs to be decided on.
Back to School – It’s that time! Summer is quickly dwindling to an end and your parental decision about how to approach your child’s education needs to be decided on.
This year back to school looks different for every family. What once was a time filled with the excitement of back to school shopping, coordinating new backpacks and lunch boxes, and gearing back up for structure, is now filled with unanswered questions, risks and concerns, and you know it – masks.
Back to school looks different this year and it’s important to understand that the feelings around it are in sharp contrast to what you as a parent have experienced in the past. Perhaps this year you are experiencing uncertainty and anxiety where excitement used to live. It’s understandable and you are not alone. Parents nationwide are experiencing grief, apprehension and relentlessness when it comes to approaching choices around back to school.
Are you a parent who is gearing up to send your children off to school?
Are you venturing down the path of full time at home virtual learning?
Have you made unconventional choices to educate your children?
Here’s how to thrive during the anxiety and uncertainty during this year’s back to school season:
1. Name your emotions. While in years past it may have been easy to name your parental emotions such as excitement for all the new opportunities a school year brings, or sadness because your baby is getting so big, this school year’s emotions feel…well, different. As with our younger children, it’s important to name the emotions you may be experiencing. Emotions swirl within us as a form of energy desiring to be physically expressed. As Dan Seigel, author of The Whole Brained Child, famously declared: You’ve got to name it to tame it. Take ownership of your emotions (this does not mean to JUDGE them) so you can recognize precisely how you are feeling and how you are reacting accordingly. Naming your emotions can help to tame reactions and lessen the intensity they bring.
2. Take time to process how you are feeling. Once you have pinpointed the feelings that are existing within you, take time to process them. Make a list of all of your concerns surrounding back to school and your child’s safety. Then make another list for all the things you are grateful for this upcoming school year. Allow space and time for you to truly understand your emotional state by dissecting it and seeing it in real time. Your emotions deserve validation. List writing is a phenomenal way for you to maintain emotional resiliency by seeing what comes up as a true concern for you. Approach this exercise with an open mind. There is no right and wrong. There is no judgement. Use this time to acknowledge your concerns (all of them) and then highlight where you find the peace, the appreciation, and the gratitude for the new approach to education that you and your children are taking.
3. Love your babies. Whether they will be doing their school work at the kitchen table or coming off the bus or into your car after a shortened day of in person instruction, remember that your role as a parent is to love your children. In times of uncertainty and during these times of change, remember that the love you have for your children has never wavered. Yes, parenting is an ever changing relationship that encourages you to shift through transitions, make difficult decisions, and feel uncomfortable during times of growth. But reminding yourself why you’ve made the choices you have for your family is important. So when you are feeling overwhelmed, nervous, or anxious, gently shift your focus to your heart and how it feels when you witness your child experience something they love. At the beginning and end of each school day, love for your child will ease your heart, center your anxiety, and shed light on the biggest gift of all – parenthood. It’s never easy but LOVE always makes it worth it.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” – Corinthians
InnerClarity, LLC in Hazlet, New Jersey is working hard to help parents cope with understanding how to navigate the ‘new normal’ of 2020. Our latest group program, Coping with the New Normal is designed to help adults navigate the intensity of the emotions, anxiety, and grief that have been highlighted during this time. When everything you once knew about ‘normal’ has shifted, it’s time to find certainty and community so you can feel empowered to handle whatever comes next. Pre-register for our upcoming group “Parents coping with the ‘new normal’” by calling 732-639-0232, or click HERE.
To read more about Dan Siegel’s “The Whole Brain Child”, click here https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/the_whole_brain_child/
Tips on how to make your transition into a post-pandemic lifestyle smoother.
It’s been six months since the not-so-welcomed Covid-19 has undoubtedly brought a new definition to the idea of a “normal lifestyle.” With ever-changing guidelines and overwhelming amounts of uncertainty, feelings of stress and concern are inevitable. While these feelings may seem wildly overwhelming, it is important to remember that there are ways to maintain a healthy mindset while tackling all of the challenges brought on by these unprecedented times.
Taking the appropriate steps to ensure you are keeping yourself and others safe while also keeping your mental health a priority can be a lot to juggle, but it is not impossible. Below we take a look at some of the ways that will help you transition into the “New Normal”.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself in times of uncertainty, is making sure you prioritize self-care. As humans, it is natural for you to want to take care of others and do everything you can to make the people in your lives feel safe. But without giving yourself the same attention and care, you can find yourself feeling more stressed and panicked than you were before. When you start to make yourself a priority, the way you respond to outside stressors change. You are more likely to approach uncertainty from a state of feeling calm, collected, and grounded. Setting time aside for yourself to do things that make you happy and allowing yourself to take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed are wonderful ways to practice self care. In today’s ‘new normal’ grant yourself the willingness to create time for YOU and what you love.
It’s no question that Covid-19 has forced you to change your expectations of what this year and future years will be like, which can result in feelings of powerlessness and fear. The truth is, uncertainty is tough for everyone!
While you may not be able to control how things are going to continue in the future, you can control how you respond. (this is where your power lies!)
Adjusting your expectations to match reality and focusing on what you can control will allow you to cope with the ever changing world you are currently in.
Relying on facts, taking the proper precautions, and striving to maintain as much of a routine as possible are ways you can regain that sense of control and develop a coping mindset that will not only help you now but with other challenging situations in the future.
Unfortunately, there is not much that has not been affected by Covid-19. Just about everyone in the world is learning how to adjust their lifestyles accordingly. Because of this, there are several outlets and resources offering help and guidance when it comes to tackling the challenges of adapting to a new lifestyle and trying to cope with the emotions that come with it. Reaching out for help can give you new perspectives on how to handle problems you may be facing, as well as give you the relief that you are not the only one dealing with these problems. Now is the time to prioritize your mental wellbeing. Reach out to a therapist, call on a friend or trusted neighbor so you can create space in your life and find moments of calm with the ever changing landscape of the world.
The Covid 19 Pandemic is creating history and it is your chance to create a plan for your personal success. Adjusting to change is hard. Creating systems and plans for your overall well being is essential so you can become more resilient, more grounded, and more in tune with your personal guidance system – your emotions!
Inner Clarity believes that you are in the driver’s seat of your personal emotional success. Our trained therapists serve as guides so you can begin to explore your emotions, give them a place to land and feel validated, and learn to navigate the road of uncertainty. Your well being is our priority because you deserve to find happiness. Are you ready to unpack your emotions so you can become more resilient in the face of change? Reserve your spot in our upcoming “Coping with the New Normal” Support Group for Adults (18+) by calling 732-639-0232 today!
For young children, developing life is full of obstacles that force them to process challenges and fall down so that they can learn how to continue to get up...
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”. -Viktor E. Frankl
Have you ever watched a baby develop? For young children, developing life is full of obstacles that force them to process challenges and fall down so that they can learn how to continue to get up and try and try again.
Despite how amazing it may be to watch resiliency in action, in the eyes of a baby, life can feel pretty unfair at times.
Babies learn to be resilient through doing. They face a road block, express their emotional reaction, and then continue on to whatever is next for their developing life.
As adults, it is important to remember this natural resiliency that we so willingly showed as a child. Resiliency is part of human nature!
It’s time to detach the monkey mind from what is or is not and focus on how to be the most resilient version of your personal self.
You were once a resilient baby. So, what do you have to do as an adult to mimic this important survival skill and encourage resiliency in your grown-up self?
Resilience, in itself, is the capacity of your internal and external systems to deal with change and continue to develop.
Facing opposition is an integral part of life which blesses you with an opportunity to practice being resilient, embrace change, and spur renewal and personal growth.
But it’s not always easy.
Here are three simple steps to continue to encourage your reactions to align with resiliency.
When it comes to practicing resiliency, your mindset will be your best friend. Becoming aware of your thoughts and gently shifting toward letting go help to free your emotional energy to focus on the good. You have the power to create your best life. Believe it and seek out this worldly validation daily. The more you continue to shift your focus toward what is going well, the more open you become to receive the goodness that life has in store for you.
Click here https://www.innerclarityllc.com/our-therapists/ to find out more about our team of therapists each with their own specialty areas. We are here to help you find your Inner Clarity and discover your best self today.
If there’s one thing we know for sure it’s that body’s change. Whether this change comes through aging, parenthood, surgery, or lifestyle, your remarkable body can stretch, shrink, create life, break, bend, and heal. And if there’s another thing that remains certain, it’s that you will remain in your body for as long as you live.
If there’s one thing we know for sure it’s that body’s change. Whether this change comes through aging, parenthood, surgery, or lifestyle, your remarkable body can stretch, shrink, create life, break, bend, and heal.
And if there’s another thing that remains certain, it’s that you will remain in your body for as long as you live.
That’s a pretty important reason to allow yourself to respect and honor the current transition your body is in!
Practicing body positivity is a radical way to transform your relationship to your skin suit and share gratitude for this vessel that carries YOU around. Here are six ways to learn to love yourself so you can find happiness with exactly where your body is in this moment of time.
Practicing body positivity is a deliberate movement to bring more love and gratitude to your deserving self. At Inner Clarity, LLC in Hazlet, NJ our therapists excel at helping people to recognize where they are now and find gratitude for the many roads that got you and your beautiful body here. Our therapists understand how to work with you so you can find peace, respect, and love for your life and the body that allows you to live it. Ready to love your body so you can enhance your happiness? Book an appointment today.
For many years prior to my retirement I dreamt about what it would be like. I imagine most people dream of retirement and believe it will bring immediate happiness. For me, in some ways that was true, but I learned that finding happiness after retiring a lifetime’s long career takes work, self-reflection, and intent.
My Retirement Journey: From Trials and Tribulations to Triumphs
For many years prior to my retirement I dreamt about what it would be like. I imagine most people dream of retirement and believe it will bring immediate happiness. For me, in some ways that was true, but I learned that finding happiness after retiring a lifetime’s long career takes work, self-reflection, and intent. Growing up in a North Bronx area in the 60’s I had been working since I was in high school, with my first job as a shoe salesman. I worked through college and immediately upon graduation, I suited up, and entered the corporate world. If I add it all up, it comes to 48 years, and almost all of my adult life. In my career, I held about 5 different jobs, before my last job at AT&T overseeing a team of talented technical and business professionals. Among these jobs, some I absolutely loved, other times I had jobs that paid the bills to support my family so we could live in more financially stable conditions than I grew up in.
Throughout my career, I traveled quite often, sacrificed nights tucking my kids into bed and reading the bedtime story. Retirement was so far in the future I never gave it a second thought. But fast-forwarding to today, my kids have careers and kids of their own and I am a proud grandfather of 3 special young grandchildren.
Two years ago, my retirement party marked the end of my career with fanfare. I got the quintessential watch and plaque from my team, a large family brunch with gifts ranging from “old fart” t-shirts, to personalized golf swag, to a handmade journal where I expected I’d spend time reflecting during much of my newfound free time. But after the party, a loneliness set in. After 48 years on the go, working with purpose nearly every day, I found an emptiness I had not yet learned how to cope with. Some days were slow, bordering on boring. There were (and still are) times I miss the interaction among the people I worked with. I miss the challenge of making the right decision at the right time, and basking in successful outcomes. The pressure of managing people, being responsible for their continued growth and success, has been lost. These are all examples of the downsides of retirement.
What I have found and consider critical is having someone to talk to, a friend, a relative, a therapist. Someone who you can share with and who will not make any value judgements about what you are doing, or who you have become or who you are. For me, one of the most critical people in my life these days is, in fact, my therapist. There are so many good days in retirement, but help with the bad days is paramount to my successful retirement.
With the help of my therapist, I’ve learned tools and explored resources to reflect, intentionally think about what my goals, passions, and purpose in this new life stage are, called Retirement. As I look towards the future, retirement offers me so much more than I ever could have imagined. It allows me to see my grandkids more, watch them grow, and help them find their own way. I now travel for pleasure more often, without the stresses of stepping away from my work for a few days. I do more of what I love; writing, reading, and playing golf. Time is no longer my enemy. If I stay healthy, I have all the time in the world, to enjoy retirement, enjoy my spouse, my kids, and my grandkids.
Summarizing with Tips:
As you begin to contemplate retirement, you can do some of the following to be better prepared:
On Therapy
In my opinion, an important person in your retired life is your therapist. Therapy has its cost, but the benefits far outweigh any such costs (and in many cases Medicare will cover the expense). So long as you define hese costs in your financial plan, you will be fine. You will most likely want and need someone to talk to who is not related to you to, who can give you an unbiased perspective. There will be good days, there might be some tough days, your therapist can help with both.
If you are seeking professional support, consider engaging with a therapist prior to, and within a few months post retirement. Waiting until you begin to experience the emotions of retirement is certainly acceptable, but I found starting early (before I retired) and sticking with counseling is a good approach.
It is time to make it happen. I hope me sharing my experience may help you along your way to a happy and successful retirement. These years ahead should become the best years of your life.
This story is brought to you by Inner Clarity.
At Inner Clarity, we have a growing team of therapists here to support you. Currently, several therapists at our practice including Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Rebecca Sidotti, and Charlene Kwinter both accept Medicare Insurance. We also have a broad network of community resources and can work with you on your individual retirement journey. Get started today at FindYourInnerClarity.com
The last few months we’ve been faced with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. Practicing self care during the coronavirus pandemic can help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress associated with social distancing.
Self care – Definition: Doing things that make you feel more like yourself
The last few months we’ve been faced with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. Practicing self care during the coronavirus pandemic can help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress associated with social distancing. If you feel that you are struggling, I have compiled a list of things you can try at home to refocus on yourself, recenter your mind and make it through the day.
Bonus one for pet owners:
Everyone’s self care journey is unique, so the things that work at home for some might not work for others and that is completely okay. Embrace your individual journey through trial and error and create an individualized tool box full of self care activities. It is especially important that we take the time to learn about ourselves through self care techniques during a global pandemic.
Click here to learn more about our practice, and to request an appointment for you or your loved one.
Although altering our daily stressors may have optimal benefits, it’s not often that we can do that through removing the stressors or changing the situations totally.
Although altering our daily stressors may have optimal benefits, it’s not often that we can do that through removing the stressors or changing the situations totally. Instead of trying to remove the stressors, we can look to see where we can add techniques throughout our day that make our stressors feel less intense. Here are a few tips to de-stress day-by-day.
Tip 1: Identify “Repeating Stressors”
To really know what stresses us out daily, we have to find out if we are in a pattern of stressful citations. Repeating stressors, or stressors that we experience regularly, are situations such as preparing the children for school, driving in traffic, or managing a hectic work-life schedule. Identifying the stressor is the first step to gaining control of it. You can keep track of this in a journal, your phone or just take a mental note.
Tip 2: Cope Ahead
So, now that you have one stressful situation in mind, how do we plan ahead to cope with it? Those moments prior to experiencing the stress are the times in which we have the most control. First, we have to be emotionally prepared. This means that we think about it ahead of time and prepare ourselves with coping skills to manage that particular situation. It’s great to have a mental or tangible list of skills we can use to cope. To best do this, we can look at the situation, our feelings and our reactions. Here’s an example:
Traffic Build up —> Anxiety —> Breathing Techniques/Positive Self-Talk (coping skill)—> Calmer Body —> Mindful Response to Others —> Emotionally regulated for other stressors
Tip 3: Unruly Emotions Need Taming (Adaptive Behavioral Response)
Sometimes, our feelings happen faster than we can apply coping skills, so then we have to manage our behavioral response. For example:
Traffic Build up —> Anxiety —> Body Tension —> Progressive Muscle relaxation (coping skill)—> Mindful response to Others—> Emotionally regulated for other stressors
Emotional preparedness and self-talk are powerful tools we can use to prepare prior to a stressful situation. Self-talk can be as simple as “the tasks from my supervisor can feel overwhelming, but I will be organized and alert so I can feel confident in my work day.” Another example of self-talk while in the stressful moment is “this situation may be difficult, but I don’t have to feel stuck in this feeling. I am safe and I am in control of my body, and if I’m calm about this, I can do this task at my best”. Progressive Muscle Relaxation can be a great tool when we are reacting to our emotional state. When using this skill, you would squeeze and then release every muscle in the body starting with the tips of your toes and ending with the top of your head. It’s important to be mindful about our bodily responses to stress, as our bodies tend to carry stress, even after the stressor is gone.
Tip 4: Morning “Energy Check-In”
Every morning, gauge your emotional energy level (patience, calmness, tension, sadness, anxiety, excitement, etc). This helps us know where we might need extra support. If we’re running low on patience from the moment we wake up, we can always try to turn that around by meditating, prioritizing our tasks, or relaxing. Sometimes, we don’t have the luxury to do this, and that leads us to Tip 5.
Tip 5: Practice “Mindfulness and Boundaries”
So instead, be mindful of how you feel, so that when you’re entering into a situation you are mindfully aware of how much energy you can give the situation before you start to run low on fumes. For example, if you wake up late for work and you start your day rushed, this may make you feel anxious. If you’re anxious, how do you behave (agitated, inattentive, emotional)? Once you can identify that emotion, put those identified coping skills in place. You can do this everyday to maximize your ability to manage stress. This can also help set boundaries with others, meaning, we can appropriately let others know what we’re capable of that day. For example, if we are low on patience because we are experiencing personal stressors such as relationship issues, grief, or financial issues; we can share with others what we are capable of doing to the extent of our control. Again, for the things that are outside of our control, we go back to using our coping skills. Keep in mind that if your cup for the day is already filled to the brim, just adding in one more small thing can make it overflow – leading us to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even ready to explode.
Tip 6: Regularly “Recharge” to Increase Your Peace
Now that we’ve talked about the things we can do in daily routines to de-stress, we have to put back into our “emotional bank” or “re-charge” our emotional energy. As humans, we can only go for so long on low-fumes, low-energy or emotional challenges. So, just like a battery, we too need to take time to recharge. Find the things that increase your peace. This can be a hobby, a socially uplifting event, or even a simple activity such as watching your favorite TV show, listening to your favorite song, talking to a friend, lighting your favorite candle, or exercising. Even doing a little bit of this everyday can be helpful.
Tip 7: Rinse & Repeat
With these skills solidified, it is important to be consistent in applying them. Emotional states and moods will ebb and flow, and we have to be patient with ourselves. These skills take daily practice, but the results can be life changing. Be mindful and aware of your emotional states so that you are best prepared to handle what life throws your way. Remember that we can only control so much, and when things are out of control, we can find ways to cope and adjust, minimizing stress-levels while maximizing our efficiency.
Therapists at Inner Clarity all have experience and training in mindfulness techniques for wellness. Click here to schedule your appointment and make these day-by-day techniques a priority.
June is PTSD awareness month, and I believe it is crucial to not only understand the clinical presentation of PTSD, but also understand the treatment options. There are many trauma-informed treatments out there. To be “trauma-informed”, simply stated, is to be aware of how trauma impacts a person’s physical and psychological health.
June is PTSD awareness month, and I believe it is crucial to not only understand the clinical presentation of PTSD, but also understand the treatment options. There are many trauma-informed treatments out there. To be “trauma-informed”, simply stated, is to be aware of how trauma impacts a person’s physical and psychological health and to use therapeutic interventions that address the whole person, rather than a sole-focus on the problem behavior.
However, it is important to note that research has shown that the modality of treatment is less of a predictor of effectiveness than the quality of the relationship between therapist and client, otherwise known as “dual attunement” in a model of trauma-informed treatment called, Brainspotting (BSP). In BSP, the ultimate resource is the relationship between therapist and client within the Dual Attunement Frame. It is within this frame that clients are guided through a transformative healing process.
What is Brainspotting?
Brainspotting is a model of therapy developed by Dr. David Grand in 2003 that has shown ground breaking and research supported results in helping people process and resolve the traumatic events that have previously left them feeling “stuck”, emotionally and physically depleted, and/or ashamed. Brainspotting locates points in the client’s visual field that help to access unprocessed trauma in the deeper, older parts of the brain. It is believed that (BSP) taps into and harnesses the body’s natural self-scanning, self-healing ability.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is loosely defined as an emotional response to a terrible event, like an accident, rape, or a natural disaster. An emotional response to a terrible event is natural, of course! However, emotional responses are supposed to “complete their cycles”, so to speak. When an emotional response to a triggering event becomes frozen and unresolved in the person, a traumatic response then takes its place. The category of “trauma” encapsulates such a broad spectrum of experiences, and these experiences can overwhelm the person’s capacity to effectively cope. In addition, some people have no language or memory of the traumatic event(s). Yet, they report a longstanding feeling of restlessness, irritation, boredom, and/or lethargy that they just can’t explain or “shake.” Further, some people have memory of the trauma event(s), yet, avoid discussing the details surrounding the event(s). Clients use avoidance strategies for all different reasons, but commonly they fear the emotional overwhelm that comes with the memory of the traumatic event.
How Can Brainspotting Help with Trauma?
In (BSP), the client explains the concern, worry, or simply states a feeling of agitation that he/she/they cannot explain. Then, a body-resource is located (positive felt-sense in the body) and then paired with a Brainspot, a spot in the person’s visual field that indicates some reactivity, this could look like a blink, a yawn, a twitch, feelings of nausea, etc. The therapist then guides the client through a mindfulness process within the dual attunement frame: the empathic, witnessing presence of the therapist as the client focuses on the Brainspot. Clients may even stay silent if they wish! The therapist purely works with the sensations in the body as it relates to the triggering event, thought, or story. It is within this body-based, deeply attuned process I have witnessed the body unearth and release various forms of trauma. This release opens up a space for clarity, calm, and a newfound sense of compassion for self and others in many clients. As Bessel VanderKolk says, “the body keeps the score”, and just as the body keeps the score, the body also intrinsically knows how to heal. The trained therapist guides and holds the space for this process with curiosity and compassion.(BSP) provides the container for trauma to find its way through and out the body, just as nature intended.
If you or someone you know is seeking a gentle way to approach working through a traumatic event or an event they don’t fully remember or understand, then Brainspotting may be the appropriate treatment. Stephanie Carpizo, LPC is a certified Brainspotting therapist who works remotely so clients can engage in therapeutic work in the safety and comfort of their own homes. Brainspotting can be done with children as young as six. Read more about Stephanie and schedule an appointment with her HERE.
As your body changes through physical fitness, so does your mind when addressing mental wellness. While it may feel like a simpler decision to begin to work on your outward appearance, taking time to work on becoming mentally fit has benefits that go much further than skin deep. Yet, with the rush of modern life, some men still struggle with making their mental health a priority.
As your body changes through physical fitness, so does your mind when addressing mental wellness. While it may feel like a simpler decision to begin to work on your outward appearance, taking time to work on becoming mentally fit has benefits that go much further than skin deep.
Yet, with the rush of modern life, some men still struggle with making their mental health a priority.
So much so, that the disparity between how men and women treat their mental wellness differ tremendously.
There is no biological difference in being predisposed to emotional instability or to cultivate the ability to express feelings between men and women. Both men and women experience depression as well as the full spectrum of all mental illness yet women are diagnosed at alarmingly higher rates than men.
Almost 70% of all suicides are by men. Which means that men are struggling with their mental wellness and not seeking professional treatment to help them cope and feel good in their lives.
As a society, phrases like ‘Man Up’ and ‘Be a Man about it’ shield men from acknowledging their own unique spectrum of emotions. Instead of knowing that it’s acceptable to feel sad, overwhelmed, and cry, many men have been conditioned to ‘suck it up,’ dangerously suppressing real emotional truths about who they are and how they feel. Men are encouraged to lean into reactions such as anger and rage, with a mild understanding that these too are emotions that deserve a secure setting to be expressed without taking a personal victim.
Many men have been conditioned since childhood to tough it out, suck it up, and keep on moving forward. With this programming, it’s understandable why some men don’t feel comfortable reaching out to mental health professionals. Because of this conditioning however, some men are so out of touch with their unique emotional spectrum that they don’t even realize they are depressed or consumed by thoughts that leave them feeling enraged, less then and unworthy.
This conditioning is a disaster for men’s mental health.
Of course, not all men are the same. Some men find the willingness to speak up about how their thoughts are affecting their lives. Yet many still find it terribly uncomfortable.
Men, it’s time to make your mental health a priority!
Here’s a few things you should know:
Emotional are normal.
You were not designed to be stoic.
A range of emotions, including stress, sadness, and depression simply mean that you are a human being experiencing life through your unique lens.
The suppression of your mental health is killing you at alarming rates.
The lack of awareness and connection to your ability to express emotions is causing further repression.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to not feel imprisoned by your thoughts.
Mental Wellness is a muscle that can be trained.
Like being in the gym, your mental health enhances when you take time to work on it.
If you don’t know where to begin with exercise, you seek out professional advice.
When you don’t know how to begin with unpacking your mental wellness, seek professional support for guidance.
Therapy is not dramatic.
Therapy is not about laying on a couch, bawling uncontrollably about your upbringing.
Therapy is a safe place to acknowledge your experiences and talk aloud with a professional about how they are affecting you.
Men, your mental health is worth your time. You deserve happiness. You deserve a safe space to feel into your life experiences.
Inner Clarity in Hazlet, New Jersey works with men to help quantify where they currently are in their lives and where they’d like to go. At Inner Clarity, our therapists help men to set goals and learn to rate how they feel so they have an understanding of how to progress toward a life feeling more fulfilled. Our therapists employ techniques such as CBT, EMDR, and Brainspotting; evidenced-based practices used to address depression, anxiety, and trauma. Inner Clarity offers a safe space for men to unpack their thoughts and decompress from their day. an appointment now and get on the path to nurturing your mental health and feeling better, today!
There has never been a more important time to actively practice acceptance and teach the world’s children to do the same. Acceptance is a daily value that needs regular validation and encouragement; giving adult caregivers an opportunity to practice preaching and implementing regularly.
There has never been a more important time to actively practice acceptance and teach the world’s children to do the same. Acceptance is a daily value that needs regular validation and encouragement; giving adult caregivers an opportunity to practice preaching and implementing regularly. Because children engage life with a natural curiosity, insightful adult response is necessary to raise the newest generation to be tolerant, ever helpful, and accepting human beings.
The influence adults have over a child’s forming opinion when curiosity rears its head is tremendous. It’s a heavily weighted responsibility, not to be taken lightly. This means that every eye-roll, sigh, sarcastic comment made by an adult is absorbed by a child. Physical communication as a parent is a major influencer on a child’s ability to truly thrive as an accepting and loving human being.
Acceptance stems from curiosity, empathy, and compassion. Children are taught these emotional states of being as they are taught intolerance, self-absorption, and hierarchy. Ultimately, it is up to an adult caretaker to examine their own levels of intolerance, reactivity, and response so they can teach children to see the world from a more loving place. Mindfulness toward how you feel and what you project toward and in front of children is essential to creating sympathetic human beings who are willing to see sameness in all they encounter.
Acceptance begins at home. It begins within. And with a solid internal foundation of acceptance, sharing with children becomes easier.
Here are three ways to take an active role in teaching acceptance at home.
Looking for a way to enhance the dialogue with children? Anarghya Nirbail, LAC, is a therapist at our practice who specializes in working with children over the age of six. She is formally trained in CBT from the Aaron Beck Institute and is able to implement play therapy in order to engage children in the therapeutic process. Read more about Anarghya, and schedule an appointment with her HERE.
The last two months have been extraordinary and trying times for many of us. Among the many social media posts on the topic of COVID-19, there was an especially profound metaphor for the current situation we find ourselves in.
The last two months have been extraordinary and trying times for many of us. Among the many social media posts on the topic of COVID-19, there was an especially profound metaphor for the current situation we find ourselves in. In it, the author (attributed to Damian Barr) stated “We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.” This imagery creates the idea that we’re all in rough seas, but the tools we have at our disposal can vary greatly. Some may be in life rafts while others are on super yachts. The seasickness may be real for us all, but some are coping well while others are struggling to survive. This poem speaks empathetic ally and passionately about being there for each other, and seeing other points of view, through incredibly challenging times.
So how do we support each other? How do we truly listen? How do we take care of our families? How do we take care of ourselves? Here are a few tips we’ve devised over the last two months living under a ‘new normal’:
1) Reach out to family and friends:
In a time when we cannot be the social beings that we’re accustomed to being, seeing and spending time with family and friends in person, we need to now look to other means, other approaches to be connected. Fortunately, we live in an age of incredible technology and communication. The internet, the smartphone, and the software available to us enables us to connect virtually to those we love, and to seek help from our homes when we need it. Whether it be FaceTime, Zoom (now free for personal use), Teams, Hangouts, Webex, Facebook, text message, or the old fashioned phone call, we can connect when we want to. It may not be ideal, but make an effort to reach out. Do you have a friend who lives alone? Perhaps a cousin working in a hospital caring for sick patients? Check in with them. Set a routine and follow up every few days, even if only for a few minutes. In the process you’ll help their mental well-being as well as yours.
2) Recognize that which you can change, and that which you cannot:
Stay-at-home orders. Small business closures. Unemployment over 20M people. These are real, challenging, negative outcomes of approaches to fight a dangerous virus. We all need to adapt to the reality of the current situation. But there are things we can do to cope. First, start with a reflection of what is most important to you. Did you love going out to eat, or miss going for your daily workout with your personal trainer? In the future, we’ll get back to those routines. In the meantime, look for alternatives to the routines you once had. Perhaps ask Alexa for a new recipe to cook, or challenge your house-mates to a workout competition running the stairs or across your backyard. If you have little ones like I do, turn them into living, breathing workout weights!
Second, reflect not on what you’ve lost, but what you’ve gained. Were you putting off that home improvement project? Did you have a book you wanted to read that was collecting dust? Or maybe you felt you weren’t spending enough time with your family members? Now’s the time to take advantage of the new schedule and routine and put that time to good use. Sometimes when a door closes, even for a little while, a few windows do open.
3) If you’re anxious, depressed, lonely, or in need, seek professional help:
Sometimes, we need support to get through challenges and navigate the emotions we’re feeling. That’s healthy and normal. We recommend asking yourself a few questions to determine if you should seek professional support. And if in doubt, reach out.
At Inner Clarity, we are here to help. We put our clients first, and will discuss your presenting conditions with you before determining an appropriate path forward. We work to match you with the right therapist for you, and take a mindful approach to treatment. We assess outcomes and work within the standards of our profession to bring you results. We believe in living A Clear Mind for a Healthy Life.
For more information, see our services here, or get started by contacting our team today.
Together, we strive to “Find your Inner Clarity.”