Inner Clarity has identified three effective approaches for steering any person striving to make the most out of Florida therapy services: define your preferences, utilizing online resources, and schedule initial consultations.
It’s become a well-known fact that mental health is a critical part of any person’s life. Without a balanced mind, it can be difficult to navigate daily stressors, harbor positive self-esteem, and plan for the future with confidence. In states like Florida, which faces a dire shortage of practitioners, the struggle to find the right therapist can act as a major obstacle in the search for Florida therapy services.
One of the best ways to promote mental health is by working with an experienced therapist. Matched with the right guidance, every counseling session means accessing a source of attentive support and making significant leaps towards achieving your goals.
Yet finding a compatible therapist isn’t always easy. Plenty of states, including Florida, have developed shortages. When evaluating what professionals are available, new patients must discern whether those providers are suited to treat their specialized needs.
For those struggling to begin their search, know that you’re not alone. But by sharing new strategies on how to connect with qualified Florida therapy services, Inner Clarity can help ensure you have expert company while on your path towards holistic wellness.
For many people, the opportunity to finally sit down with a therapist cannot arrive soon enough.
However, in our busy lives, it isn’t easy to build time around securing something new, something we may have learned to cope without. Recognizing what type of mental health concerns you want to prioritize, where to look for experienced professionals, and how to follow through with obtaining accessible care can come as a daunting undertaking.
While there are numerous advantages to pursuing providers who are available to meet face-to-face, exclusively limiting your hunt to in-person sessions will only reduce your options. Expanding your search online will allow you to reach countless trained professionals outside the bounds of your immediate vicinity.
Inner Clarity has identified three effective approaches for steering any person striving to make the most out of Florida therapy services: define your preferences, use online resources, and schedule initial consultations.
Consider asking yourself what any therapist will eventually inquire: what do you hope to accomplish from counseling? A therapist can help arrive at a possible diagnosis, identify stress patterns, teach you various coping skills and ultimately create a safe space for you to negotiate your emotions. Pinpointing what part of your life you would like to address first will enable you to put your best foot forward.
What’s more, providers bring specialized experience in specific topics and in employing specific treatment techniques. Is it a “must have'' quality that your therapist is the same gender or offers Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? Seek those who you know you’ll feel comfortable with.
Once you have a sense of what you’d like to explore while in Florida therapy services, turn your attention to where you can apply your criteria. Online directories grant the ability to see a wide range of options all at once, with descriptions of therapists’ educational backgrounds, professional memberships, and personal approaches readily available.
Review platforms can also prevent you from wasting time with providers who are not part of reputable practices, or those outside of your insurance coverage. Therapists with decades of experience can extend insights that providers just starting out might not.
Finally, take heart in knowing you don’t have to commit to working with a therapist before meeting with them first. By scheduling initial consultation sessions, you can gain a sense of whether your personalities will gel for a trusting and productive professional relationship.
This is important because working with a therapist is a two-way street. Just as an initial consultation is a chance for you to ask relevant questions about a therapist’s treatment style, the provider will likely have a number of questions they’d like to ask you back in order to see if they agree you're good to schedule a follow-up appointment.
Despite what may appear as a challenging endeavor from the outside, investing time and effort into finding the right therapist for you will undoubtedly boost your position in your mental health journey. Don’t settle for just any provider when your mental health is a crucial part of everyday life.
If you’ve been delaying finding a therapist, take notes on what you’re looking forward to tackling, and consider contacting us today to schedule an initial consultation with Inner Clarity’s extensive team of counselors, who are prepared to provide Florida therapy services tailored to every individual.
Beginning your first year of college is filled with an abundant number of changes and emotions! It may feel like you are walking into the unknown.
Beginning your first year of college is filled with an abundant number of changes and emotions! It may feel like you are walking into the unknown. Here are a few things that might help you prepare for your first year.
1) Register for Classes as Soon as You Can
Don’t wait until the last minute when it comes to registering for classes each semester. If you wait, you may end up in a class you don’t enjoy for the next four months. Focus on being proactive when registering for classes.
2) Organization is Everything
Come up with your own system that can help you maintain some structure throughout each semester. For example, maybe invest in color coded folders and highlighters for important test dates and large assignments. Not only is it important to organize your schoolwork but organization within your dorm room is crucial too! Living in a clean and organized space will take some stress off of your plate.
3) Procrastination Will Be Your Biggest Enemy
Waiting to do your studying and schoolwork will add nothing but stress. Not only will getting your work done in a timely manner help you succeed, it will also decrease your stress levels and allow you to enjoy your new friends and dorm life.
4) Have A Routine for Everything
Having routines is something us humans thrive off of! A routine to follow for your morning/night schedule, your classes, exercise and chores will assist you with staying on track. PS: write down what you have to get done and cross it off when finished!
5) Your Syllabus is Your Best Friend
In every class each professor will give you a syllabus with important due dates. Everything that you see there you can write in your planner or in a safe place.
6) It’s OK to Not Know What You Want
Going into college, you may have an idea on what major you’d like to study. Or, you may have no idea, which is also ok. You might also decide to change your major. All of this is ok! You will find something you enjoy, even if it takes some exploration.
7) Develop a Relationship with Your Professors
Your professors are an asset to you. Ask questions and schedule meetings to discuss the lessons and the curriculum you’ve been taught. Go visit them during their office hours. This shows that you care about your grades and success in their class.
8) Know Everything Available to You
Find out what programs your college/university has to offer such as counseling and tutoring. Your college wants you to succeed and they have so many programs along the way to help.
9) Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
You are not expected to know it all. College is all about learning new things and if we don’t ask we may never know. Ask your professors and your peers questions, they are there to help. It could even help to form a study group. Remember…there is no such thing as a stupid question!
10) Make Time to Make a Phone Call
Going away to college is not only a big step for you but it also is for your family and friends from home. Social and familial support can decrease sadness and stress. When you can, make time to call and give updates.
11) Give Yourself a Break
College can be a large adjustment from high school. Make sure you give yourself breaks from studying and homework to eat or chat with friends. This is also a great way to provide your own self-care.
12) Plan Ahead of Time
Your schedule may consist of back-to-back classes which, can make it difficult to take a break (tip #11). The night before a big day make sure you have snacks, a drink, and a meal to take with you.
13) Consider an Early Internship
Participating in an internship will not only build your resume but it will show you a glimpse of what it will be like to work in that field. This experience can help you make decisions for what’s next.
14) Rent Versus Buying Textbooks
Textbooks can be expensive. Read over your syllabus and listen to your professor. They may provide you with advice on renting versus buying textbooks. When it comes to books in your major, they may be helpful to buy and keep for the future.
15) Put Yourself Out There
Get out, join clubs, meet people, make friends and make memories!
You are going to do great! Remember these 15 tips when you are feeling overwhelmed or making a decision. If you are experiencing any stress when it comes to starting or being at college, please call our intake line and we can assist you with this major life transition.
What if there was an easy way to practice meditation in a way that helps you focus, relax, and increase your aptitude for empathy and compassion?
What if there was an easy way to practice meditation in a way that helps you focus, relax, and increase your aptitude for empathy and compassion?
With just 4 sentences recited to yourself or out loud, you can begin a daily practice of METTA Meditation, a form of mindfulness meditation; proven to help reduce anxiety and depression and increase self compassion and enhance social connection.
If you are new to METTA, or any meditation practice, it’s important to remember to have patience with yourself as you begin a practice. Meditation of any form can feel difficult and overwhelming at first. It is through consistency of practice, that you begin to feel more at ease, more peace, and more openness within your heart.
METTA Meditation, also known as loving kindness meditation is a mindfulness practice that allows you to practice sending love to yourself, your friends and acquantencies, and even the difficult people in your life.
During a METTA Meditation practice, you recite the following statements to yourself and do your best to feel it in your heart as you do.
Various versions of METTA exist that all follow the same frame work of statements. It’s important to choose phrases that you connect with personally and worry less about the exact wording. The practice is meant to become very enjoyable, so choose the version that feels the best for you. (You can’t mess this up!)
When you sit for a seated moment to practice METTA, it is suggested to cycle through the phrases with the intention sent for the following people. (It may be helpful to visualize an image of the person you are sending loving kindness toward.)
As you find yourself in a moment of relaxation, begin your practice by going through the 4 statements above to yourself, someone you know, a neutral person in your life, and a difficult person in your life.
While you continue to practice METTA meditation, it is important to begin to connect with the feeling of the words in your heart as you recite them to yourself. Repeating phrases that are coupled with truly feeling the words in your heart is the true practice of loving kindness that allows you to open your heart and find sameness with every being on Earth.
Remember compassion and empathy are challenging to share with others if at first you don’t recognize these sentiments within yourself. That’s why the purpose of METTA Meditation is to cultivate a state of self compassion first, allowing you to find acceptance for you and eventually learn how to share that same level of compassion with all beings around you.
Meditation is a useful and proven tool to help you create more calm and love so you can find moments in peace within and share your ability to love with the world. It’s not always easy, and that’s exactly why it’s called a practice. Therefore, aim not for perfection, rather than the willingness to practice and the dedication to do so.
Meditation, Loving Kindness, and EMDR are just some of the many tools that the therapists at Inner Clarity utilize to help our clients reconnect with themselves and come to a state of acceptance in life. We are here to help you too so you can find peaceful moments as you ride the wave of this ever changing world. Book your first appointment now so you can create your inner clarity and find with giving and receiving kindness to all. SCHEDULE HERE
In relationships, one of the hardest skills to master is healthy and effective communication. Realistically, we might not be able to completely eliminate...
“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity”- Nat Turner
In relationships, one of the hardest skills to master is healthy and effective communication. Realistically, we might not be able to completely eliminate disagreements and misunderstandings from our day to day life, but applying communication techniques could potentially increase connectedness as well as create a safe emotional environment for both partners.
The following are some skills that we can use when communicating with our partners-
There are many different effective ways that couples can communicate. Through rituals and healthy habits we are able to create connections that we can count on. By using some of these skills, we can help to increase healthy interactions and reconnect during a time filled with uncertainty and stress. Do you think couples therapy would be helpful for your relationship? We can help. Click here to connect to Charlene’s page.
Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self-esteem and self-worth...
Are you someone who struggles with self love, self esteem, or self worth?
By definition Self Worth means “ an individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration.” (APA Dictionary Definition)
Easily, this is a trait that any parent would want their child to hold. Likewise, if you had a friend who was struggling with self esteem and self worth, chances are you’d wish this level of self love for them too. Yet for too many, self worth has been muted and minimized for so long that at this stage in the game, it can feel nearly impossible to build it back up.
The truth is, all humans deserve to feel loved, worthy, and capable. So, if along the way, you adapted a belief that you are not; the following advice will help to bring awareness to your thoughts so that you can begin to make small shifts toward massive amounts of worthiness for your uniquely perfect, amazing self.
Happiness is the birth right of every human being.
Every single person deserves love. It is your right to feel good about yourself and create your own version of personal happiness. It’s not selfish to command a high sense of self-worth or to feel fulfilled and content in your life. If fact, feeling good about yourself is the most selfless act to take. It is within loving yourself and your own unique quirks that you are able to create more compassion and empathy for the imperfection in others around you.
Still struggling to appreciate your inner awesomeness? Here are some quick tips to begin to tune in and gently shift your dialogue to one that encourages more love, compassion, and forgiveness for your number one….YOU!
By beginning to tally when your inner critic says nice things about you versus when that inner voice attacks your desires, actions, and abilities you will begin to notice the programming within.
The Golden Opportunity – The more you begin to recognize your inner critic that emerges as judgment of yourself, the more you can learn to shift to a better thinking thought that may begin to allow you to build yourself up, rather than tear yourself down.
As you recognize a belief about yourself that makes you feel poorly, remember that you are a human being who is doing their best. Hold the belief tightly that you are doing your best. And within that, that you are deserving of feeling like enough and knowing that you are giving your absolute best. No matter what the circumstance, what you are able to give moment to moment is always enough.
In today’s comparison driven culture, it can be difficult (and often feel downright uncomfortable) to pat yourself on the back. But the truth is, you deserve daily accolades – so don’t be shy about taking them!
Find more ways to give yourself credit for being amazing!
Find comfort in allowing these things to be enough and pat yourself on the back for getting through the day.
After all,
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss
Also, you rock…remind yourself more often.
Surround yourself with people that allow you to feel good about yourself.
Find a community online, a trusted person in your family or circle of friends where you feel secure to feel good about yourself.
Remind yourself why you deserve reciprocated love and friendships.
Exercise, craft, write, or sing.
Be creative and allow your emotions place and space to move.
Your definition of feeling good is not open to anyone else’s opinion. The more you continuously make deliberate choices that help you to feel good about YOU, the more you will find that taking a stand in the pool of self worth is truly where you’d like to be.
Listen, human beings are not meant to be perfect. In fact, you can spend your entire life trying to find one (a perfect human) only to recognize that every single being is riddled with imperfection.
It is not the perfection that creates an amazing human, rather the imperfection held by all that create uniqueness, quirks, and the specialness that makes you, you.
Your uniqueness is what makes you incredible! Spending time to embrace it helps to elevate your personal sense of self.
By creating more awareness around your sense of self worth, you continue to shine light on what is working for you, and what needs to be redefined so that you progress toward more of owning your inner awesomeness.
Struggling with Self Worth but deep down know that life is meant to feel good?
At Inner Clarity our therapists work with you to help unpack your inner dialogue and create steps toward success so you can love yourself more, feel good inside, and know that in every moment, you are good enough.
Ready to learn how to find more personal love for you? We are here to help.
It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.
Dear Mothers,
It’s that time of year when you tend to go over and above all the calls of duty and expectation for your kids. The magic of the Holidays truly resides in your hands, and to make this season more magical than ever, you are going to have to work extra hard.
Or don’t you?
Many Mothers believe that Holidays don’t happen, unless they work hard, create an enchanting setting, and practice perfectionism so that their children can create memories worth sharing. In order to make this happen, too many women sacrifice their mental well being, financial stability, and time management in order to go over and above the role of Mom/Santa/Gift Giver Extraordinaire.
The truth is, creating memories that last a lifetime doesn’t need to require you to feel burnt out, exhausted, and appreciated less than you’d like. Running yourself ragged this time of year can lead to melt downs, resentment, and complete and utter exhaustion.
You can still make incredible memories with your family by doing what you love, setting appropriate boundaries with your energy (mental, emotional, and financial), and taking moments to pause to truly appreciate the gifts of the year.
2020 is different. The desire to create fascinating experiences for your children to remember forever is still strong. However the ability to make that happen through external sources, pictures with Santa, memories around the menorah and kinara, and outside family traditions have changed. Yet that doesn’t mean you have to find new ways to take yourself down to zero in order to provide your children with love, special moments, and sacred family togetherness.
So how do you create magical moments without driving yourself to the brink of resentment for the 2020 Holiday season?
Here are quick and easy tips to create a holiday of connection, without losing your cool and learning to revel in the specialness of this time of year.
Mama, you are the magic that moves every season, and never is that more true than now. Remember, the extraordinary excitement of this time of year is more enjoyable when you practice the pause and enjoy what is already around you. The most important memories are made not when doing things, but by being present and learning to do more of the things that help you to feel calm, joyful, and surrounded by love.
Are you experiencing burn-out due to the stress of the Holidays in 2020? Learn to navigate your expectations, overwhelm, and anxiety so that you can feel aware, present, and enjoy the Holidays this year and every year. You are in control of your emotions. Learn how to work with them and feel satisfied in your life more often. Find out more about seeking professional support HERE.
The most magical adventures can be the most challenging to make tangible.
The most magical adventures can be the most challenging to make tangible. Such is the scientific studies on gratitude and its ability to bring its user increased happiness and decreased depression.
While most people have an instinctive understanding of what gratitude is, it can be very difficult to define. It’s that time of year where everyone seems to begin to focus more on what they are grateful for, and 2020 has shown us simply how necessary it is to find gratitude for one’s own physical health.
It has been said that regular shifts toward gratitude have the ability to heal, balance, and regulate negativity from a person’s life. Since life nowadays may feel without control and filled with concern, creating moments of thanks are essential to put it all in perspective.
Many studies over the past two decades have concluded that people who practice gratitude tend to be happier and less depressed. In fact, research supports the claim that gratitude is ‘the greatest virtue’ and furthermore ‘the mother of all other remaining virtues.’
Gratitude works to help improve all aspects of health.
(Access incredible research and learn more about the studies cited HERE)
As a practice, gratitude doesn’t require much. However, if you feel like you could use some inspiration to cultivate more gratitude in your life, here are some quick tips to make it a daily and regular feel-good routine:
When it comes to gratitude, the fun is in the freedom! Don’t overcomplicate it. While gratitude can be beautifully expressed through actions like writing in a journal, or through hymns and prayers, practicing gratitude is really as simple as sitting with one conscious grateful thought at a time.
Tapping in to your personal feelings of joy, contentment, and regularly finding reasons to rejoice in your life will turn the key towards happiness.
One mindful thought about what is going good in your life can be all you need to transform your mood, realign yourself with the positives, and help you to shift perspective toward all the greatness in your life.
Ready to learn how to tap into the power of your personal gratitude? Visit Inner Clarity today to book an appointment with a Therapist who will help you sift through the moments of your truth so you can lean into focusing on what feels good. Find out more about how we can help!
As 2020 begins to wind down, many are looking toward the Holiday season to bring in a much needed cheer in the world.
As 2020 begins to wind down, many are looking toward the Holiday season to bring in a much needed cheer in the world. But for all too many, approaching Holidays means dealing with loss again, or due to 2020, for the very first time.
Grief looks different this year. It may not only be due to loss of a human close to your heart, grief now abounds in the form of loneliness, separation, social anxiety, and mourning for an older sense of ‘normal.’
As with any occasion that makes you think of togetherness, this upcoming season can be a time of deep contemplation and revisiting the ever fluctuating stages of grief.
If you are experiencing grief this time of year, or any time of year, you are not alone. And while your grief may manifest differently throughout the impending season, know that your feelings are real, valid, and here to be felt.
When you, or your children, encounter moments when it feels too strong to bear, here are some helpful ways to allow yourself to feel while gently encouraging yourself to continue to make a connection with those you have lost and love the most:
Perhaps you are already busy and you are finding that more and more you are distracted by your grief; it keeps you on the couch or pins you to the bed despite all the work you have to get done.
If this is the case, take time to feel your feelings. Be honest with yourself and with those who depend on you.
When it feels right, you can visualize yourself placing overwhelming thoughts on a shelf momentarily. This may allow you the space to work toward your goals with work, home, and additional responsibilities, knowing that you can come back to your feelings and space on the shelf, when you are ready to be done.
Grief is not linear. There is no one road that leads to processing it faster, more quickly, or with ease. In fact, if you do, you may miss out on valuable healing that awaits.
Feelings are here for you to be felt. Sadness, as overwhelming as it feels at times, is a reminder that love once existed in it’s space.
If this year has shown you anything, it’s that you matter, your feelings matter, and health is the most valuable resource on the planet.
Are you experiencing grief this time of year? InnerClarity offers guidance in working with your grief so that you can find moments of joy as you learn to navigate the intensity of your emotions. You don’t have to go through it alone. Schedule a consultation today.
With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.
With an influx of adults in transition; uprooted and now working from home or laid off from the massive shift that Covid-19 has brought our way, many partnerships are strained by the change in home/life relationships.
After years of couples finding a groove that works best for them, marriages have been flipped on their head as many now are learning to share more space, spend more time, and navigate the additional stress brought on by quarantines, virtual school, and the fear of falling behind on bills or ill.
Faced with an unprecedented amount of emotional and financial strain, more and more couples are considering divorce as an option to preserve their happiness and their sense of self.
The truth is, not all marriages are meant to last forever. And with the abundance of time many people have now, more and more are making the courageous choice to put their personal happiness above the institution of marriage.
However, if you’re looking to strengthen your relationship during this time, hope has not been lost!
While the increase in togetherness may be tough at moments, here are some ways to Quarantine Proof your Marriage so that you can remain in the committed relationship you enjoy:
The therapists at Inner Clarity are here for you and your partner. We work with you to uncover your needs, help you to feel peace in your relationships, and work to help you take steps toward your personal happiness. Experiencing troubles in your marriage? Book your appointment HERE
Important to note: While many marriages seal their bond and find togetherness during stressful times, many others can become tumultuous.
If you are experiencing domestic violence which includes physical, emotional, and mental/spiritual abuse please call the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline for immediate assistance: New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline
1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233)
It's that time of year again for parents (whether your children are having virtual or in-person experiences)!
It’s that time of year again for parents (whether your children are having virtual or in-person experiences)! This year, of course, poses more questions and uncertainties than previous years due to the ongoing effect of COVID-19 on our personal lives, families, and surrounding communities. Suffice to say, we are all experiencing different levels of anxiety due to the uncertain nature of our lives at the moment. As a parent to young children, I have been reflecting on my own stress levels due to the current circumstances, and have been more intentional in tracking the shifts from “good” stress to “bad” stress and how these shifts impact my parenting.
Good stress is motivating and provides just enough arousal to move us towards our goals. Bad stress exceeds our window of tolerance, a term typically used to describe the zone of arousal in which a person is able to function most effectively. This can happen either because the stress is too overwhelming and going on for too long or our window of tolerance is too narrow or both issues may be at play simultaneously!
This pandemic has been such a destabilizing force for individuals, families, and communities for a myriad of social, political, and economic reasons. We humans like certainty and end-points at the end of the tunnel to help us make meaning out of situations and find solutions to move us forward. Whether your kids are learning from home or back at school, the ongoing uncertainty and ambiguous end point to everything COVID-19 related remains front and center in our minds.
When stress is front and center and begins to overstay its welcome, it has the capacity to wreak havoc on our bodies and minds. When we parent from a place of stress and/or fear, we become rigid, inflexible, and controlling to install some sense of safety into our systems for calming, most of which is happening out of our awareness. And this is where the work begins. It is too easy to direct our frustration towards our children who, let’s face it, are easy targets. They will rebel, test boundaries, make poor judgement calls, spill the milk we just bought, you get the idea! They have the ability to set up a minefield of triggers for us to step into setting off a pattern of reactivity that tends to be contagious. This generates a cycle of more impulsive reactivity in relation to each other which will inevitably spill out into their school lives and friend relationships. What to do?
Step 1: Respond rather than react
First, notice the initial tendency to look outwards for the reason for your stress. This is a reactive response to a trigger. This typically looks like blaming behaviors or having a level 10 reaction to an issue that maybe warranted a level 3 reaction? The act of looking for external reasons for our stress or anger or turmoil is actually a very natural reaction (it hurts to notice our own inadequacies), so try and offer yourself some reassurance during this process instead of judgement. It is through this process of slowing down enough to notice your reactivity that you will develop a more effective response to your trigger.
Step 2: The Mindful Pause
The awareness of responding vs. reacting leads us to step two, (which I think is the hardest part). Step two involves the “pause” we hear so much about in mindfulness training and actually is difficult to put into practice if you’re chronically stressed, or as some of my clients like to say, “revved up.” I like to insert some body awareness into this step which can look like following your breath during this pause or allowing yourself to feel the ground beneath your feet as you count your breaths. If you need more sensory input, this can look like running cold water over your hands or face or utilizing your favorite smell or music to shift your attention. The good news is that urges really do pass quickly when we open up the space to actually feel them and allow them to pass.
Step 3: Choose your Choice
Lastly, make a different choice, do something different, say something different, go somewhere different, you get the point! Victor Frankl famously said, “Between the stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” Give yourself the space to choose the most effective response in that moment and in that day with your child and your child’s response will mirror your own. It might (and probably will) take several tries (or more) to undo an ongoing pattern of unhealthy reactivity, but as I tell my kids, just keep trying. Each time you will learn something new. And this is how we will get through this unprecedented time, together.
We are here to get through this together and it is important to know that you do not have to cope through this alone. Click Here to find out more about the services we offer and request an appointment with one of our highly skilled therapists
Read about dealing with toxic family members including things to remember like surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good from Inner Clarity.
Family – the relationships you don’t get to choose.
Dealing with family can be difficult. In fact, for some…it can become downright abusive.
For many people, dealing with family means dealing with control, emotional abuse, and constant criticism. Not all human beings are capable of exhibiting love in a way that makes another feel heard, respected, and cared for. When this happens, it’s important to know – it is NOT your fault.
Knowing how to approach these delicate relationships, sometimes with the very people who raised you, can be really challenging and painful. But gaining an understanding about how your life can be distanced from theirs in a way that feels most supportive for you is important.
The truth is, You deserve to be happy.
And if your family is a major cause of your depression, self deprecation, or why you always feel stuck, it may be worth examining effective ways to deal with toxic members of your clan.
The most important rule to your personal happiness is to do whatever it takes to surround yourself with people who help you feel good. This may not always be people bonded to you by blood, even if they have raised you.
Here are some important things to remember when dealing with toxic family members:
But if it’s right for you, you can become a Mother or Father and experience family in a completely new way. You can choose love, openness, and acceptance. And this new creation..the family you choose..can begin to help heal the holes left by the first.
You can choose friends who become family. These relationships too can be committed by love, respect, and a desire for closeness.
You can create the family you choose. And you can choose to be bonded by unconditional love.
Remember, when it comes to your family – no one knows what you have experienced but you.
So no one gets to decide what and how it is best to interact with your family, but you.
You have one life to live and that life deserves happiness, joy, and love.
Take action to free yourself from family that no longer helps you move toward the goal of happiness.
Relinquish judgement of yourself and others.
And know that you are never alone.
At Inner Clarity our therapists are trained to help individuals navigate the intricacies of sticky family dynamics. These relationships can be emotional and difficult to untangle on one’s own. If you are looking for a supportive Therapist who can help you undo the web of a no-longer working family dynamic, schedule your appointment today. Gain Clarity HERE.
Have you been wondering why social distancing has been such a challenging transition for so many of us? It’s because we are inherently social beings, relying on social connection for survival, learning, evolving and positive feelings.
Have you been wondering why social distancing has been such a challenging transition for so many of us? It’s because we are inherently social beings, relying on social connection for survival, learning, evolving and positive feelings.
It’s true that social connections foster better mental and physical health. According to an article published in 2007, social supports increase our ability to manage stress. In addition to that, the article states that we are more likely to experience more positive feelings, releasing “happy hormones” such as Oxytocin, when we are engaged with our social supports and social networks. (Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., et.al, 2007). In addition to feeling happier, we are more likely to find motivation from our peers. This may be committing to activities together that will foster better health.
When we feel connected to others, we experience a stronger sense of purpose, have stronger self-esteem and have more opportunity to build on these relationships. Here are some ways to stay connected during this pandemic:
Citations
Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont (Pa. : Township)), 4(5), 35–40.
Back to School - It’s that time! Summer is quickly dwindling to an end and your parental decision about how to approach your child’s education needs to be decided on.
Back to School – It’s that time! Summer is quickly dwindling to an end and your parental decision about how to approach your child’s education needs to be decided on.
This year back to school looks different for every family. What once was a time filled with the excitement of back to school shopping, coordinating new backpacks and lunch boxes, and gearing back up for structure, is now filled with unanswered questions, risks and concerns, and you know it – masks.
Back to school looks different this year and it’s important to understand that the feelings around it are in sharp contrast to what you as a parent have experienced in the past. Perhaps this year you are experiencing uncertainty and anxiety where excitement used to live. It’s understandable and you are not alone. Parents nationwide are experiencing grief, apprehension and relentlessness when it comes to approaching choices around back to school.
Are you a parent who is gearing up to send your children off to school?
Are you venturing down the path of full time at home virtual learning?
Have you made unconventional choices to educate your children?
Here’s how to thrive during the anxiety and uncertainty during this year’s back to school season:
1. Name your emotions. While in years past it may have been easy to name your parental emotions such as excitement for all the new opportunities a school year brings, or sadness because your baby is getting so big, this school year’s emotions feel…well, different. As with our younger children, it’s important to name the emotions you may be experiencing. Emotions swirl within us as a form of energy desiring to be physically expressed. As Dan Seigel, author of The Whole Brained Child, famously declared: You’ve got to name it to tame it. Take ownership of your emotions (this does not mean to JUDGE them) so you can recognize precisely how you are feeling and how you are reacting accordingly. Naming your emotions can help to tame reactions and lessen the intensity they bring.
2. Take time to process how you are feeling. Once you have pinpointed the feelings that are existing within you, take time to process them. Make a list of all of your concerns surrounding back to school and your child’s safety. Then make another list for all the things you are grateful for this upcoming school year. Allow space and time for you to truly understand your emotional state by dissecting it and seeing it in real time. Your emotions deserve validation. List writing is a phenomenal way for you to maintain emotional resiliency by seeing what comes up as a true concern for you. Approach this exercise with an open mind. There is no right and wrong. There is no judgement. Use this time to acknowledge your concerns (all of them) and then highlight where you find the peace, the appreciation, and the gratitude for the new approach to education that you and your children are taking.
3. Love your babies. Whether they will be doing their school work at the kitchen table or coming off the bus or into your car after a shortened day of in person instruction, remember that your role as a parent is to love your children. In times of uncertainty and during these times of change, remember that the love you have for your children has never wavered. Yes, parenting is an ever changing relationship that encourages you to shift through transitions, make difficult decisions, and feel uncomfortable during times of growth. But reminding yourself why you’ve made the choices you have for your family is important. So when you are feeling overwhelmed, nervous, or anxious, gently shift your focus to your heart and how it feels when you witness your child experience something they love. At the beginning and end of each school day, love for your child will ease your heart, center your anxiety, and shed light on the biggest gift of all – parenthood. It’s never easy but LOVE always makes it worth it.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” – Corinthians
InnerClarity, LLC in Hazlet, New Jersey is working hard to help parents cope with understanding how to navigate the ‘new normal’ of 2020. Our latest group program, Coping with the New Normal is designed to help adults navigate the intensity of the emotions, anxiety, and grief that have been highlighted during this time. When everything you once knew about ‘normal’ has shifted, it’s time to find certainty and community so you can feel empowered to handle whatever comes next. Pre-register for our upcoming group “Parents coping with the ‘new normal’” by calling 732-639-0232, or click HERE.
To read more about Dan Siegel’s “The Whole Brain Child”, click here https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/the_whole_brain_child/
Tips on how to make your transition into a post-pandemic lifestyle smoother.
It’s been six months since the not-so-welcomed Covid-19 has undoubtedly brought a new definition to the idea of a “normal lifestyle.” With ever-changing guidelines and overwhelming amounts of uncertainty, feelings of stress and concern are inevitable. While these feelings may seem wildly overwhelming, it is important to remember that there are ways to maintain a healthy mindset while tackling all of the challenges brought on by these unprecedented times.
Taking the appropriate steps to ensure you are keeping yourself and others safe while also keeping your mental health a priority can be a lot to juggle, but it is not impossible. Below we take a look at some of the ways that will help you transition into the “New Normal”.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself in times of uncertainty, is making sure you prioritize self-care. As humans, it is natural for you to want to take care of others and do everything you can to make the people in your lives feel safe. But without giving yourself the same attention and care, you can find yourself feeling more stressed and panicked than you were before. When you start to make yourself a priority, the way you respond to outside stressors change. You are more likely to approach uncertainty from a state of feeling calm, collected, and grounded. Setting time aside for yourself to do things that make you happy and allowing yourself to take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed are wonderful ways to practice self care. In today’s ‘new normal’ grant yourself the willingness to create time for YOU and what you love.
It’s no question that Covid-19 has forced you to change your expectations of what this year and future years will be like, which can result in feelings of powerlessness and fear. The truth is, uncertainty is tough for everyone!
While you may not be able to control how things are going to continue in the future, you can control how you respond. (this is where your power lies!)
Adjusting your expectations to match reality and focusing on what you can control will allow you to cope with the ever changing world you are currently in.
Relying on facts, taking the proper precautions, and striving to maintain as much of a routine as possible are ways you can regain that sense of control and develop a coping mindset that will not only help you now but with other challenging situations in the future.
Unfortunately, there is not much that has not been affected by Covid-19. Just about everyone in the world is learning how to adjust their lifestyles accordingly. Because of this, there are several outlets and resources offering help and guidance when it comes to tackling the challenges of adapting to a new lifestyle and trying to cope with the emotions that come with it. Reaching out for help can give you new perspectives on how to handle problems you may be facing, as well as give you the relief that you are not the only one dealing with these problems. Now is the time to prioritize your mental wellbeing. Reach out to a therapist, call on a friend or trusted neighbor so you can create space in your life and find moments of calm with the ever changing landscape of the world.
The Covid 19 Pandemic is creating history and it is your chance to create a plan for your personal success. Adjusting to change is hard. Creating systems and plans for your overall well being is essential so you can become more resilient, more grounded, and more in tune with your personal guidance system – your emotions!
Inner Clarity believes that you are in the driver’s seat of your personal emotional success. Our trained therapists serve as guides so you can begin to explore your emotions, give them a place to land and feel validated, and learn to navigate the road of uncertainty. Your well being is our priority because you deserve to find happiness. Are you ready to unpack your emotions so you can become more resilient in the face of change? Reserve your spot in our upcoming “Coping with the New Normal” Support Group for Adults (18+) by calling 732-639-0232 today!
If there’s one thing we know for sure it’s that body’s change. Whether this change comes through aging, parenthood, surgery, or lifestyle, your remarkable body can stretch, shrink, create life, break, bend, and heal. And if there’s another thing that remains certain, it’s that you will remain in your body for as long as you live.
If there’s one thing we know for sure it’s that body’s change. Whether this change comes through aging, parenthood, surgery, or lifestyle, your remarkable body can stretch, shrink, create life, break, bend, and heal.
And if there’s another thing that remains certain, it’s that you will remain in your body for as long as you live.
That’s a pretty important reason to allow yourself to respect and honor the current transition your body is in!
Practicing body positivity is a radical way to transform your relationship to your skin suit and share gratitude for this vessel that carries YOU around. Here are six ways to learn to love yourself so you can find happiness with exactly where your body is in this moment of time.
Practicing body positivity is a deliberate movement to bring more love and gratitude to your deserving self. At Inner Clarity, LLC in Hazlet, NJ our therapists excel at helping people to recognize where they are now and find gratitude for the many roads that got you and your beautiful body here. Our therapists understand how to work with you so you can find peace, respect, and love for your life and the body that allows you to live it. Ready to love your body so you can enhance your happiness? Book an appointment today.
The last few months we’ve been faced with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. Practicing self care during the coronavirus pandemic can help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress associated with social distancing.
Self care – Definition: Doing things that make you feel more like yourself
The last few months we’ve been faced with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. Practicing self care during the coronavirus pandemic can help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress associated with social distancing. If you feel that you are struggling, I have compiled a list of things you can try at home to refocus on yourself, recenter your mind and make it through the day.
Bonus one for pet owners:
Everyone’s self care journey is unique, so the things that work at home for some might not work for others and that is completely okay. Embrace your individual journey through trial and error and create an individualized tool box full of self care activities. It is especially important that we take the time to learn about ourselves through self care techniques during a global pandemic.
Click here to learn more about our practice, and to request an appointment for you or your loved one.
Although altering our daily stressors may have optimal benefits, it’s not often that we can do that through removing the stressors or changing the situations totally.
Although altering our daily stressors may have optimal benefits, it’s not often that we can do that through removing the stressors or changing the situations totally. Instead of trying to remove the stressors, we can look to see where we can add techniques throughout our day that make our stressors feel less intense. Here are a few tips to de-stress day-by-day.
Tip 1: Identify “Repeating Stressors”
To really know what stresses us out daily, we have to find out if we are in a pattern of stressful citations. Repeating stressors, or stressors that we experience regularly, are situations such as preparing the children for school, driving in traffic, or managing a hectic work-life schedule. Identifying the stressor is the first step to gaining control of it. You can keep track of this in a journal, your phone or just take a mental note.
Tip 2: Cope Ahead
So, now that you have one stressful situation in mind, how do we plan ahead to cope with it? Those moments prior to experiencing the stress are the times in which we have the most control. First, we have to be emotionally prepared. This means that we think about it ahead of time and prepare ourselves with coping skills to manage that particular situation. It’s great to have a mental or tangible list of skills we can use to cope. To best do this, we can look at the situation, our feelings and our reactions. Here’s an example:
Traffic Build up —> Anxiety —> Breathing Techniques/Positive Self-Talk (coping skill)—> Calmer Body —> Mindful Response to Others —> Emotionally regulated for other stressors
Tip 3: Unruly Emotions Need Taming (Adaptive Behavioral Response)
Sometimes, our feelings happen faster than we can apply coping skills, so then we have to manage our behavioral response. For example:
Traffic Build up —> Anxiety —> Body Tension —> Progressive Muscle relaxation (coping skill)—> Mindful response to Others—> Emotionally regulated for other stressors
Emotional preparedness and self-talk are powerful tools we can use to prepare prior to a stressful situation. Self-talk can be as simple as “the tasks from my supervisor can feel overwhelming, but I will be organized and alert so I can feel confident in my work day.” Another example of self-talk while in the stressful moment is “this situation may be difficult, but I don’t have to feel stuck in this feeling. I am safe and I am in control of my body, and if I’m calm about this, I can do this task at my best”. Progressive Muscle Relaxation can be a great tool when we are reacting to our emotional state. When using this skill, you would squeeze and then release every muscle in the body starting with the tips of your toes and ending with the top of your head. It’s important to be mindful about our bodily responses to stress, as our bodies tend to carry stress, even after the stressor is gone.
Tip 4: Morning “Energy Check-In”
Every morning, gauge your emotional energy level (patience, calmness, tension, sadness, anxiety, excitement, etc). This helps us know where we might need extra support. If we’re running low on patience from the moment we wake up, we can always try to turn that around by meditating, prioritizing our tasks, or relaxing. Sometimes, we don’t have the luxury to do this, and that leads us to Tip 5.
Tip 5: Practice “Mindfulness and Boundaries”
So instead, be mindful of how you feel, so that when you’re entering into a situation you are mindfully aware of how much energy you can give the situation before you start to run low on fumes. For example, if you wake up late for work and you start your day rushed, this may make you feel anxious. If you’re anxious, how do you behave (agitated, inattentive, emotional)? Once you can identify that emotion, put those identified coping skills in place. You can do this everyday to maximize your ability to manage stress. This can also help set boundaries with others, meaning, we can appropriately let others know what we’re capable of that day. For example, if we are low on patience because we are experiencing personal stressors such as relationship issues, grief, or financial issues; we can share with others what we are capable of doing to the extent of our control. Again, for the things that are outside of our control, we go back to using our coping skills. Keep in mind that if your cup for the day is already filled to the brim, just adding in one more small thing can make it overflow – leading us to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even ready to explode.
Tip 6: Regularly “Recharge” to Increase Your Peace
Now that we’ve talked about the things we can do in daily routines to de-stress, we have to put back into our “emotional bank” or “re-charge” our emotional energy. As humans, we can only go for so long on low-fumes, low-energy or emotional challenges. So, just like a battery, we too need to take time to recharge. Find the things that increase your peace. This can be a hobby, a socially uplifting event, or even a simple activity such as watching your favorite TV show, listening to your favorite song, talking to a friend, lighting your favorite candle, or exercising. Even doing a little bit of this everyday can be helpful.
Tip 7: Rinse & Repeat
With these skills solidified, it is important to be consistent in applying them. Emotional states and moods will ebb and flow, and we have to be patient with ourselves. These skills take daily practice, but the results can be life changing. Be mindful and aware of your emotional states so that you are best prepared to handle what life throws your way. Remember that we can only control so much, and when things are out of control, we can find ways to cope and adjust, minimizing stress-levels while maximizing our efficiency.
Therapists at Inner Clarity all have experience and training in mindfulness techniques for wellness. Click here to schedule your appointment and make these day-by-day techniques a priority.
There has never been a more important time to actively practice acceptance and teach the world’s children to do the same. Acceptance is a daily value that needs regular validation and encouragement; giving adult caregivers an opportunity to practice preaching and implementing regularly.
There has never been a more important time to actively practice acceptance and teach the world’s children to do the same. Acceptance is a daily value that needs regular validation and encouragement; giving adult caregivers an opportunity to practice preaching and implementing regularly. Because children engage life with a natural curiosity, insightful adult response is necessary to raise the newest generation to be tolerant, ever helpful, and accepting human beings.
The influence adults have over a child’s forming opinion when curiosity rears its head is tremendous. It’s a heavily weighted responsibility, not to be taken lightly. This means that every eye-roll, sigh, sarcastic comment made by an adult is absorbed by a child. Physical communication as a parent is a major influencer on a child’s ability to truly thrive as an accepting and loving human being.
Acceptance stems from curiosity, empathy, and compassion. Children are taught these emotional states of being as they are taught intolerance, self-absorption, and hierarchy. Ultimately, it is up to an adult caretaker to examine their own levels of intolerance, reactivity, and response so they can teach children to see the world from a more loving place. Mindfulness toward how you feel and what you project toward and in front of children is essential to creating sympathetic human beings who are willing to see sameness in all they encounter.
Acceptance begins at home. It begins within. And with a solid internal foundation of acceptance, sharing with children becomes easier.
Here are three ways to take an active role in teaching acceptance at home.
Looking for a way to enhance the dialogue with children? Anarghya Nirbail, LAC, is a therapist at our practice who specializes in working with children over the age of six. She is formally trained in CBT from the Aaron Beck Institute and is able to implement play therapy in order to engage children in the therapeutic process. Read more about Anarghya, and schedule an appointment with her HERE.